[razeljenny]

I really need support in this guys. I go to some groups and all in all it is good for me. I go to a employment, better yourself group, a toastmasters group, AA and a fellowship meditation group, so that along with working keeps my plate full.

So anyway what to do when a person starts describing in particulars viloent behavior she did to others and has a big grinn on her face. So I left the room (bolted out the room and accidently slamed the door) It really started the domeno effect.

So I can't be near conversations that allude in detail about that or sexual perversion being described in lacidacial ways.

What should I do. Now I am alittle ashamed of the attention I accidently made of leaving too noisely. I have to go back and work around these folks and want to figure out what next to do to handle myself and them and do it smoothly.

Any pointers?

[Peanuts]

Maybe you could pretend that you had stomach flu and just had to leave in a hurry .. ?? Or you just suddenly felt quesey. I guess it depends on how trustworthy these people are - would they be supportive or give you a hard time. If you think they would not be supportive, then I would try and pass it off as not feeling well. I don't know if that is the most useful approach or not.

[(JD)]

You could be the one to begin the conversation. Say something to a person who you know will be the one to bring it up to you. Could you begin with something like, "Whew! That door really flew closed easily when I needed to use the restroom last week didn't it!!"

I admire your utilization of the support groups. I hope you aren't overdoing it... they carry their own stressors, as you have unfortunately found out.

((((hugs)))

[pegasus]

Hello razeljenny,

You have every right to your own opinion, and you have every right not to take part in any conversation that you don't want to.

Try not to worry to much what other people may think. (I'm trying this one out myself.)

Take care.

[Perna]

Razeljenny, you can't quite be sure of your "effect" since you left and only have your feeling you slammed the door. You can't really know what the others thought/felt until the next time you are with them, if anyone says something or if you ask. I would go to the next meeting and "start over" and see what develops, if your behavior is mentioned and I would think of something to say beforehand in case it is (or, I would think of something to say if you want to make a statement, unasked). If someone mentions your leaving I would simply make an "I" statement along the lines of "I was uncomfortable with the subject and manner of ________'s disclosure" and then turn down any offer to discuss on the grounds that it's your discomfort and you don't wish to discuss it.

[razeljenny]

thanks

Razel, to me, she sounds like she's sick in the head. Being proud of hurting people and bragging about it with a grin on her face? How sick is that? Why are YOU ashamed? you did nothing wrong-if asked, just say I had to leave or I was afraid I'd hit that sick ***** in the face.
Why was she bragging about hurting someone? If I were your co-worker, I'd be more understanding and sympathetic towards you than the lady who likes to hurt people. Then again, I'm somewhat of an outcast-go figure.
Anyway, don't be ashamed. If she made you sick and mad than so be it. Go back in there with your head held high and steer clear of the idiot who gets her kicks off of hurting people.
Much luck with this. Hugssss