Got a fright today.....yelled at someone, now I feel stupid

Sorry.........feeling too vulnerable.

Ok, it's ok if you can't talk about what happened. I am just going to say that this can happen and all you can do is allow yourself to settle down and then take some time to think about what the trigger was.

You felt threatened somehow and you reacted, and now wish you had not reacted so quickly, well, that can happen with PTSD because everything is so magnified, just as if you had an open wound and someone touched it. I have experienced this myself and I have also seen others experience it too.

I had learned that all I could do is let it pass and figure it out "after" it happened and "talk about it", which means putting it into words. That video I posted about PTSD? I could see what that man was saying about what helps. Getting whatever there finally processed through the frontal part of the brain. Jane, I know this part is so hard to understand and can be embarassing too, but, you just have to work through whatever comes out like this.

((Jane)), you really were "hurt" you know and that means you have to be patient until it all comes to the surface so you can finally work through it so you can process it all. I understand that you get frustrated and embarassed with this process too, but, you need to be patient with yourself and realize that this simply has to all get worked through now.

You can always PM me if you need to just put whatever it is into words. I won't judge you at all because "I know whatever it is" just has to come out and be verbalized. I went through a period myself where I would "react' to things before I had a chance to think to react and it really took me by surprise. It "all" has to come out whether you like it or not, you will make gains on this challenge, it "will" ease up, but all you can do is allow yourself to work through it each and every time it happens.

((Jane)), you were hurt and you ran a lot in an effort to "forget it" somehow. Everything you did was actually a "normal" human response to a "threat". This is the way we are designed to "survive" and it's very primitive. People can get very confused by this and struggle with what they know in the "now" and also compare whatever way they reacted to what is deemed "acceptable". But, it just doesn't work that way when it comes to "trauma and survival".

In all honesty Jane, most people have a degree of this, they talk about "just get over it or ignore it", they think they are doing just that, but they are "not". The reason why the statistics are so high for a person to experience some kind of MI challenge in their life time is because "no one" really "just" gets over it. This has always been a challenge in humanity, always. That is why we grew to "write" and "record" things and is the base of philosophy itself.

I know this is hard, I do hear you, however, it's just time for you to finally work through this "tauma" history. It is actually very "common" for this challenge to take place in the 40's too. Every single person gets to a point in their lives where they start to review and every single person says, "If I only knew then what I know now" too.

There are so many challenges I had in my own life too. I even tried to reach out for help too, and here I am finally getting the answers to some of these challenges that would have helped me so much had I been able to learn about them in the past.

Whatever way you reacted to whatever challenged you somehow had a reason. The truth is we do remember everything that challenged us and none of us realize it. But, most people "do" come to a point in their lives where they go through a period of "grief" and "reconsiliation". The majority of human beings feel "alone" in this reconsiliation too. Every significant quote, book, song, is due to this process.

You are "healing" right now (((((Jane))))), let the process take place, you deserve it.

Bluegrey