crippling paranoia

How do you deal with paranoia that limits your ability to function?

My PTSD stems from experiencing the very traumatic events surrounding the death of my first child. For years afterwards I was constantly afraid that my other children would die, afraid to the point where I would check on them every night, multiple times, just to make sure they were breathing. Gradually this has improved to the point that I can go weeks without this fear.

A year ago I broke my leg and it coincided or triggered a severe bipolar depression swing. After a rough few months stuck inside I found myself paranoid about driving anywhere, especially long distances, and generally afraid to be around people. There has been some improvement with the being around people, but I am still struggling with driving. I am constantly afraid that anytime my family or loved ones take a trip anywhere they will die in a car wreck. This weekend I have an opportunity to go and enjoy two of my favorite pastimes, but the fact that I may have to drive two hours by myself is crippling and terrifying me to the point where I want to just bag the whole trip. Stupidest thing is that I used to drive cross country alone on a regular basis, logging a tens of thousands of miles without any fear or worry.

I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else struggles with similar issues and how you have managed to overcome the paranoia and fear. Thanks.

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't begin to understand that pain.

I do not have crippiling paranoia but when I feel fear, I tell myself I'm paranoid. (hmm I think i just realized that does nothing for my fight.) It keeps me from acting paranoid. I settled it in my mind because there is nothing I could do to prevent fear from coming true.

I talk about my paranoia when something hits me wrong. I might be paranoid but it doesn't prove me wrong. We consider it a safety reminder but if i started to fear others or it prevented me from driving~ i would get counseling. I enjoy driving too much and I think it gets easier to deny ourselves the second time. Sometimes, the joys are harder to hold on to.

I wish i had some words of wisdom but all I have it a little bit of paranoia from a tragedy in life. I hope you have a good support system.

Yes, I have challenges like that myself. We are designed to be more hyper vigilant when something bad happens, we have had to be that way in order to thrive. It is these "fears" that have inspired us to find ways to prevent and this has lead to our developing so many things to protect ourselves and make us safer.

In our history life was a lot more fragile, losing a child was a lot more common and there were many people who were lucky to have a child survive to adulthood. I don't how they managed back then, often a mother suffered through losing more than one child, a woman had to really worry about childbirth too as many women did not survive it.

I understand your fears, but, the only way you can move forward is to work at it and get yourself to a point where you can drive again. It's hard to work through these challenges, I know, I have them myself. I think that you should try driving a little at a time again, I don't know if a long drive is such a good idea, yet, it may be that you learn that you "can" actually do it again just like you finally regained comfort in not having to constantly check on your children and you could finally be ok again.

I have just decided to take it one day at a time now, and as I do that I am slowly working on deciding on accepting that life is just going to happen and all I can do is my best to live it one day at a time.

Welcome to PC by the way and welcome to the PTSD forum.

((Hugs))
OE