[Hellion]

So the other night I had some super chaotic dream, with all kinds of ridiculous madness. But included cops with S.W.A.T gear and a largish building, and something about having to hide in said building...that morning I didn't really connect it to anything specific just figured I had managed to down to big a dose of the news/current events of the world and my brain was just trying to make sense of that. Well last night for some reason the thought of that dream entered my mind...then it seemed connected to the lockdown/shooting incident, and the more I thought about it the more I realized that is what it was and kept feeling like I had to keep from just like I don't know like falling out of reality...Though I knew the unlikelihood of passing out due to stress enough to somehow induce a comatose state where I'd be stuck in said dream/memory it sure felt like it could happen.

Anyways it freaked me out...couldn't get to my desk for the valium to take that, to calm it so ended up having to ride that one out except one of the cats was being somewhat comforting and purring so that helped some...eventually just felt exhausted and went to sleep, and did not repeat that dream to my relief. I had been in a bit of an argument with people earlier so I imagine it made me a little edgy but aside from that I do not recall an exact trigger.

I am ok now, but that was concerning...if that kind of thing continues then maybe I will believe some movie depictions of PTSD experiences aren't so far off/or exaggerated theatrically just to make it more intense for viewers.

[healingme4me]

((((Hellion))))

Maybe the combination of the argument, news and dream brought that on. Does sound like you used coping skills.

[finding_my_way]

i have intense dreams/nightmares that can cause a similar triggered reaction for me. they are not all related to things i've gone through trauma wise in real life, but the feelings are quite intense and scary.

i have had dreams that haunt me for days. people say they are 'just' dreams, but clearly they have not experienced the same type or degree that some of us have.

mine are generally very vivid, graphic, and if a nightmare, very violent and terrifying.

but in general, my dreams are always full of crazy things, thankfully not all nightmares. but i am exhausted when i wake up (because i also wake up at least five times a night for random reasons), and the dreams keep me busy.

[Hellion]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

((((Hellion))))

Maybe the combination of the argument, news and dream brought that on. Does sound like you used coping skills.

I have certainly become gradually more on edge just about the state of things over-all...I mean I've even seen multiple videos/articles of police brutality around Denver/surrounding areas and this is where I live...so its not just something far off in other cities, though granted its certainly much worse in some other places...and of course the generally tense political climate over-all.

So I know that has just sort of raised my stress level over-all though I try not to hyper-focus on that stuff or worry too much about things that haven't happened yet. And think about more practical things like trying to get a place with my brother and some friends for a viable living arrangement...and continuing therapy and all that...but to say it doesn't worry me would be a lie. So I guess I was already just a bit off guard and then the argument didn't help.

[avlady]

thats good you figured it out, i mean you put the problem together with whats been happening around you and can relate. sometimes when i'm dreaming i can't tell if its true or not and have to wake up slowly and realize its just a dream.

[Hellion]

Originally Posted by avlady

thats good you figured it out, i mean you put the problem together with whats been happening around you and can relate. sometimes when i'm dreaming i can't tell if its true or not and have to wake up slowly and realize its just a dream.

I guess with all the turmoil I know I cannot ignore it....it scares me, has been putting me on edge so naturally I am more prone to PTSD panic being triggerred, I guess it does kind of help sort of getting to the bottom of it. But I feel there are more feelings of fear/hopelessness in store guess I want to try and figure out how to handle it. I mean I feel eventually its not just going to be memories I'll have to contend with....me and others of my generation or even the younger generation just below mine(not below in worth but the ones that are elementary and middle schoolers now) I think are going to have a lot of major issues to deal with and try to make sense of all the while trying to maintain some semblance of some form of society. It's a lot of stress we've had layed down on us...its not just hard for those like me who are struggling with sever mental health issues who are feeling the pressure.