[Jmatalik]

I stopped my meds and self medicating well most days.. I still enjoy some whiskey from time to time. I was in a hole a very deep dark whole.. I finally came out of it and I'm not sure I can handle it. I have TBI on top of PTSD.. My memory is ****... I don't know to cope I have no support besides my therapist. I started group therapy.. But it's called DBT and most of the people in group are addicts or have other issues. None with mine which doesn't help the ALONe factor. Sometimes I think that if I just shove myself back into that place and go numb to get through everyday life that I might make it.... Idk I don't even know if this makes sense to anyone...
I disappear somewhere inside myself when I'm driving.. I will be heading home and end up somewhere else confused, and crying.. With no recollection.. I am broken I have no trust I have no faith. All I want is to be free

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[puzzclar]

It does make sense to me. DBT can be used to help with behavioral issues from PTSD, I can see how it can help.

[Jmatalik]

I hope so... Just hard to participate I guess

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[finding_my_way]

I was put in a DBT skills group several years ago. I did not feel like I could connect with the others in it and was actually quite scared of a few of them since they had violent tendencies (stories they told of getting revenge on people) or were otherwise negative and angry which was not okay with me.

I was not in a good mindset either though to be able to do the necessary work for various reasons, so it was useless for me. Although, I have found over time, I naturally have come to implement some of the skills they taught.

I would have to suggest though to try to take what you can from it despite not feeling you can relate or connect with the others.

[Open Eyes]

Hi Jmatalik, sorry to read you were involved in or a victim of domestic violence. I understand that it's hard to come out of one's shell and slowly figure out how to actually find yourself again and slowly settle down into yourself with a better sense of feeling it's ok to actually "be" in the now. Having "patience" with one's self is very important, you have to accept that you need time to understand, and on a very deep level that you survived an enviornment the best way you knew how and now you have a chance to finally heal and understand that the individuals that were very disfunctional had problems that had nothing to do with you. DBT is really about learning "how" to have better skills to protect yourself, it doesn't matter if others have "your" challenge or not, it's the skills you are going to be learning that help you better "organize" the way you are so you can slowly feel "safer" in the now.

It is not unusual to take the DBT therapy more than once because it really does take time for a traumatized person to focus on the "learning" in spite of the challenges that PTSD presents.

Allow yourself to take it one day at a time, I went through a long period where I even had to take it a moment at a time as I too was drifting in and out of the now and was very confused by it. While it can be hard to focus on your healing and actually making the effort to be in the now, it will slowly begin to "improve" with patience, time and therapy.

((Gentle Supportive Hugs))

[Creative ToFu]

When recently looking for a trauma therapist, I had one that I tried that was strict DBT and I hated it, I felt like a lab rat because she was trying to teach me instead of LISTENING to me.
Having memory issues is a big symptom of PTSD and trauma. I was tested several years ago and my ability for remembering current things was in the 25% of someone my age. I took straterra to help me while in college, so I could graduate. I was an A student and then I couldn't even pass an easy multiple choice test. My grammar in writing is affected too. It helped a lot with my memory because I was also getting lost while driving in places I lived for 20+ years. I no longer take any meds, but I am in therapy for trauma with EMDR. It has helped me a lot.