[Ofelia2000]

As the daughter of helicopter parents, I always had my freedom restricted while growing up and even well into my 20s. This made me start lying to achieve some freedom. As a teenager, I was not allowed to travel with my school, since, according to my mother, it was too risky.

At the age of 25, I went on a trip (alone), but told my parents I was going with some people from college. I was raped (was a virgin until then). I felt incredible remorse and guilt for having put myself into that situation, and I never told my parents what had happen, out of fear that they would never let me leave home again. But I inevitably fell into a depression and became a very closed individual. They would ask me what was wrong with me, and I couldn't tell them, I would just sob or be quiet.

My mother became violent a couple of times, telling me I was a problem person, unable to be happy, and that I was making her life a living hell. I was contemplating suicide, but I wanted to protect my family from my own suffering.

I got a job abroad, thousands of miles away from my hometown. My parents were visibly sad and they like to remind me of the fact that we "no longer are a family", that I have left them, that I am just like a visitor... I was feeling very lonely when I started my life abroad, and I ended up dating and marrying a local guy. I keep visiting my family about 4 times a year (whenever I can).

I love my family, but they are pressuring me to move back and I am feeling as if I had let them down. Besides, I think I am pregnant and instead of being something to celebrate, they are probably going to use it as another reason why I should move back.

My parents are in their early 50s and enjoy good health. My grandparents (in their early 80s) also enjoy good health... Both my parents are only children, and so am I, so they feel they have lost everything by my moving far away...

I need advice, I am finding it difficult to cope with their pressure...

[ChipperMonkey]

I think you need to set firm boundaries. It's unacceptable for them to pressure you to move back! I'm guessing your husband wouldn't be going along? In this sense they're splitting up your family. It's time to cut the apron strings. Your husband and future children take priority over your parents.

[marmaduke]

Don't move back. Never move back.
You do not owe them anything, you did not ask to be born. Stay away and enjoy your new life.

[spring2014]

don't move back to your parents. you're an independent woman . enjoy your freedom . you earned it . don't let your parents bullied you back home. you need to live your own life w your husband and your children . you need to assert yourself with your parents .
you need to cut the apron strings from your parents .






Diagnosis: Anxiety and depression
meds : Cymbalta 90 mgs at night
Vistrail 2 25 mgs daily for anxiety
50 mgs +an additional 25 mgs = 75 mgs at night for insomnia and ( 25 mgs) when up past 1:00 in the morning

[Ofelia2000]

Thanks everyone for your support!

If I knew my parents needed me then I would move back to take care of them, but that is not the case.

Had I not moved away from them, I would probably had committed suicide due to lack of support.

I like my new life, and the new family I am creating makes me feel empowered.