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Member Since Oct 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 29
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#1
As a teenager, I lived in Ireland for 2 years. They were 2 of the worst years of my life. It was such a traumatic time, I didn't even make any friends. Going to school was so horrible and in the end I had to leave school because I couldn't cope and broke down. When we moved back to England, I was so relieved. But for the first year and a half, for some reason (I don't know why) I kept really wanting to move back to Ireland, and i deluded myself into thinking I did have friends there. When we went back to Ireland for a holiday, I even visited the school, of course no-one spoke to me, probably thought what on earth was I doing there. I eventually snapped out of it, and now looking back I think I must have been mad, because I know how much I hated it there, why would I have wanted to go back??? Also, I have a friend with a similar experience. One night, a guy forced himself on top of her when she was still a virgin. It was really traumatic for her, but for some reason she kept wanting to go back to that situation.
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Anonymous200440, avlady, Mrs. Mania, Out There
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#2
So sorry for the abuse you and your friend suffered. It is often the victim that keeps thinking about the abusive situation. They cannot move on while the wound has not heal. When they finally can heal the wound, that situation will likely fade away.
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avlady
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Grand Poohbah
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#3
Its sometimes referred to as trauma re-creation. We do it subconsciously because we want to get another chance to make things right, we want another chance to show that we've "conquered" the trauma, we want a chance for a new and better outcome. It is a way of coping.
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DechanDawa
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Poohbah
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#4
I was like this. For me I think it was a form of self harm, self hate.
Non existent self esteem, I deserved to be treated badly. Poverty of spirit seeking a suitably punishing environment. I have worked hard over many years and my self esteem is ok now. The desire to seek out punishment has deminished. Sent from my SM-N910F using Tapatalk |
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Grand Magnate
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#5
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Anonymous200440, avlady
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#6
i agree with chippermonkey and dechanDawa, maybe it is a longing to see if it goes away too.
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Member
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 29
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#7
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Out There
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Member
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 29
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#8
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marmaduke, Out There
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