[Shancan]

So ... I have been in therapy since late January for PTSD and dissociation. I have finally calmed down and am slowly starting to feel like my old self. But every day I have my moments. One of the techniques my T and I have been working in is ACT therapy and acknowledging my awareness of self etc etc. I find all of this very hard to grasp ... And strange. I have been doing the "I am aware that I am noticing this .... (Feeling, visual, smell etc)" it's so overwhelming! An example of this is a stick I noticed lying on the side of a path that had weird bends and stuff to it. It was about 6 foot long. And really was strangely shaped. So I took the time to notice it and be aware of my noticing it. Well it made me feel terrible! Very heavy anxiety and my mind started racing. Over a stick!! I told my T about it ... And he said it may provide us some answers and he just wrote some notes and said to keep working on the awareness. But I find other random things make me feel so uncomfortable too ... That really shouldn't. Anyone else have this hard of a time with awareness of things around you? These moments just make me feel like I am loosing my mind.

Appreciate the input.

Shan

[Skeezyks]

Hello Shancan: The Skeezyks would have to say that these sorts of artificial mental efforts tend to just leave him tired & uneasy. I am sort-of a follower of the practices taught by the Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön. And there is a lot of these sorts of awareness activities within the practices Ani Pema teaches. I find them valuable. But I also know that I can only practice them so often, for so long a period of time before I become just tired, disgruntled & even more noticeably nervous. I don't know why this is. But I've been experiencing it over a long enough period of time that I know it is a real reaction. So, anyway, from my perspective, what you've written here makes perfect sense. It's not "just you...", so to speak.