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Veteran Member
Member Since Apr 2014
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 728
10 94 hugs
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#1
By abandonment issues. It seems like every time I turn around something is hitting my feelings of rejection and abandonment. I have been feeling overwhelmed by these events.
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Ceara1010, cinnamonstick, Open Eyes, Out There, Prism Bunny, ThisWayOut, Yzen
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leomama
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Member
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: Cleveland
Posts: 165
9 256 hugs
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#2
I am sorry you are feeling traumatized. I too am being traumatized, I wish there was an answer for us. i am making myself go outside to breathe in nature instead of crying for hours and hours on end. I hope you can find at least a brief distraction at this time. The pain is lodged in deep, but if I can see some beautiful birds, flowers, grass and trees I will get lost at least for a moment.
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PianogirlPlays
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Poohbah
Member Since May 2016
Location: Texas USA
Posts: 1,168
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#3
Oh, yes, abandonment issues. I hear that!! Right there with you. I've never known what to do about those and don't recall ever reading anything particularly helpful in the years I've struggled with them. (Maybe I'll do a search here and see what comes up.) Most certainly these are why I've become so introverted over the years.
--Ceara1010 __________________ Men wanted for hazardous journey. Small wages, bitter cold, long hours of complete darkness. Safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in event of success. -Ernest Shackleton |
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PianogirlPlays
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Veteran Member
Member Since Apr 2014
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 728
10 94 hugs
given |
#4
I wish I wasn't so reactive! I wish I had better control over my thoughts and feelings. I wish I could understand that these other folks are a little out of whack too! I like the idea of going outside to breathe and see there is another world of flowers and trees .
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Ceara1010, Prism Bunny
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: England
Posts: 11,355
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#5
People may find listening to music with a gentle binaural beat helpful. There is the EMDR therapy album on YouTube ( I have had EMDR myself ). Its always good to get out into nature. Hugs to everyone who's struggling
__________________ "Trauma happens - so does healing " |
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Ceara1010
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Gus1234U, PianogirlPlays
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Member
Member Since May 2016
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 451
8 441 hugs
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#6
The worst thing to do: Lock yourself in your bedroom and stay isolated even when online. I did that a couple of years ago, and it wrecked me as a person. It may be charming of an idea, taking a break, but eventually, your natural instincts kick in, and you know you need environmental and social change.
Best thing to do: Go to a coffee shop (you do not have to order coffee), sit outside with your laptop, and watch the world pass by and type to anyone online. If you are sociable, talk to those around you, as strangers can make the best company sometimes. Listen to music that fits the scenery and cheers you up. When at home: Open up your windows or at least have it where the sun lifts the atmosphere of your home. Drink something without caffeine in it (caffeine can trigger anxiety and panic attacks), get out of bed, stretch, sit up, and meditate for twenty minutes. Read or watch anything that is fiction-based. Text or call family or friends that you trust and can laugh around with for a few minutes. Again, online is also an option. When going to bed: Take 3mg to 5mg of Melatonin a few hours before sleep, meditate again, play music again (I suggest binaural sounds to trigger such things as lucid dreaming) or play ASMR videos to distract any negative/depressive thought patterns that may pop up. Prop your pillows, fix your sheets, and spray it with some tea tree and lavender every morning and night. Also, get a fan for extra white noise. Even as an introvert, there are ways to ease PTSD and Depression. Personally, I am in the middle (or at least all those tests think so), so I can handle some activities with others, but I also enjoy sitting outside and watching nature happen as I live in the mountains. Also, take vitamins/supplements to balance your physical body. __________________ . The man who chases two rabbits, catches neither. - Confucius Good for life: Work like a dog. Eat like a horse. Think like a fox. And play like a rabbit. - George Allen
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Ceara1010
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Ceara1010, Gus1234U, PianogirlPlays, Yzen
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,251
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#7
Most if not all human beings fear abandonment, it's a normal human fear PianogirlPlays. This is not just a human fear, it's also a fear that exists in many mammels of all kinds. However, even birds have an inate fear of it.
Survival when it comes to both mammels and a lot of living things including human beings is more successful when there is a drive for connection to take place that forms groups. We have to have this deep desire because human beings especially are very fragile for a very long time, much longer compared to other animals and living things. When someone experiences trauma, or several threats to their sense of personal safety, they can become more stressed and "hypervigilant" and sensitive. It is important to understand that the condition called PTSD takes place because a person has been threatened as we are designed to "react" in order to "survive". When a person struggles with the condition called PTSD, the "normal" threats that challenge all human beings become "magnified". Each person who struggles will naturally withdraw and want to find a way of gaining a sense of "safety". Having this desire doesn't mean you are a "failure" or a bad person either, it certainly doesn't mean you deserve to be abandoned either. All it really means is that you need to step back and "learn" how to proceed forward in a safer way. With human beings, what helps and has always helped is "talking" whatever your struggles are with others, first to find out you are not alone, second to learn how to better identify and understand "dangers/threats". As you work on this and find the right people who understand how you genuinely struggle, you will slowly make gains on understanding why you struggle, but to also learn how to slowly overcome the deep fears that you have that "threatened" your personal sense of safety. What helps a lot is understanding first and foremost is PATIENCE with SELF. As you develop that in yourself, it will help you develop the patience you need so you can work on healing and "learning". As you continue to gain along with being "patient" with self, you will slowly feel less and less abandoned. What is also "good" in that is as you make "gains" you will feel a desire to help others do the same. This is how human beings "survive" and actually get better at surviving. |
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Ceara1010, PianogirlPlays, Prism Bunny
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 4,703
10 172 hugs
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#8
Yep. My mother is trying to hurt me and I'm trying not to let her.
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Ceara1010, PianogirlPlays
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Veteran Member
Member Since Apr 2014
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 728
10 94 hugs
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#9
Looking for attention! Suffering from disappointments. My head aches.inside is a great voice saying I want...I want my husband to be ...involved with seeking time away...to play.
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Ceara1010
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