[ThatSpaceDude]

I'm afraid I'm a bit lost. And I'm wondering how many others here are in the same position as me.

I fear getting too close to people, for many reasons. But by far, one of the most bothersome is because I have an extremely difficult time handling certain emotions and behaviors in others as they're triggering. I don't want to go too into specifics, but I'm referring to the sorts of emotions and behaviors people may exhibit when they most need a helping hand, a friend to support them.

I care deeply for my friends and my significant other, and of course I want to help them when they need support. But I feel like there isn't a good way to do that while also looking out for my own mental health. I feel guilty for it, even though I can't help it, but it's not uncommon for me to be brought down by my fear and memories and end up being the one in need of help. And unfortunately, the situations that most resemble what happened to me are happening more and more often.

My apologies for the long post. Thank you for reading... I'm afraid I just don't know how to approach this.

[Skeezyks]

Hello ThatSpaceDude: Well... the Skeezyks lives a pretty-much entirely solitary lifestyle. So this is not a problem I would typically confront. But my personal perspective is... all you can do... is all you can do.

I think one has to be realistic about what one can, & cannot, do. Trying to force yourself to be empathetic & supportive when you yourself feel empty inside & in pain is of no real help to anyone. So, from my perspective, I think the best you can do is to be realistic about what you can & can't do. Provide as much support as you feel you are capable of providing. And try to be forthcoming with people regarding what you feel you can & can't do so they know you're not simply disinterested, but you're doing as much as you feel you can. In a sense, I guess, I see this as being a matter of self-awareness & sort-of similar to setting personal boundaries.

P.S. Your post was not too long.

[PumpkinPieHead]

Fear of intimacy and trust issues are a central theme to people that have suffered trauma. It sucks when you want someone there, but you want to be alone at the same time. I'm trying to work through my own problems with this through therapy and self-help books.

[Unrigged64072835]

I find it hard with people needing help because it triggers a reaction that I have a hard time controlling. I'll usually help the person out but have a bad anxiety attack afterwards. It's like an adrenaline rush that fades quickly. Part of my military training was to care for the wounded, and the reaction to that still remains.