[Hidden1111]

We are still new to therapy. It still makes us nervous and we don't usually feel better at all. We go two times a week and we have flashbacks during and after. It is so hard to even want to do this. If you have ideas of how to want to do this or maybe what going to T the first months is usually like I would like to have your point of view. I just feel like I'm supposed to feel better and don't. And memory "blocks" tried to come but I don't want them. Hidden1111

[Open Eyes]

I asked my therapist about how he helps individuals that struggle with "we". He told me that what his patients learn is how to acknowledge and comfort the different parts of them and learn how to function with their dominant part that has been that part in them that coped and functioned in spite of their traumatic history. He told me one of his patients was actually a top CEO and prominent and that individual had to learn how to make sure when he engaged in his career that he did so with the part/identity in him that was the one that was very good at doing his career.

With your therapy, the goal should be to slowly learn how to manage all of your parts, no one should have to struggle and feel lost inside you. You need help in learning how to manage because you most likely have not quite learned how to do that "yet". That "yet" is always important to remember because whatever you don't know how to do right now never means you cannot "learn" to understand how. Therapy is getting help to learn what works best for "you". It doesn't have to happen all at once either, it's something that you should be able to work on gradually ok?

[Unrigged64072835]

It's going to take some time before you feel better. Trust your T and the process.

It took me a while (and I've had quite a few Ts) before I started changing. I just held on.

[Hidden1111]

Ok Open Eyes. You seemed to understand things. Thank you both for responding.
And that's what I feel like I'm doing. Just holding on. Yesterday my T and aspects of myself had a conflict about what might be true or not and about my sharing a partial memory weeks ago and denying it now. I sometimes wonder if I'm just being stubborn or terrified.

[Open Eyes]

I sometimes wonder if I'm just being stubborn or terrified.

Sometimes it's both and then some.

There is part of you that does operate in the now Hidden. The reason why I shared the example my T explained to me is because a person can most definitely have "hidden" parts where they experienced traumas at different ages yet maintain a part of themselves that can actually be very intelligent and even high functioning.

Sharing a partial memory with a therapist and then having a part of you that decides what you shared did not happen can actually be a part of you that might be a part that is able to realize that a memory may not have happened, yet, something you read/saw reminded you of how you may have "felt" at some point in your past where you somehow fit what you saw as an explaination. This is something that is very common in human beings in general Hidden.

This is something that therapists have to be careful about when they are working with a patient that may have experienced early trauma. They don't want to create a "false" memory that can add to a trauma.

You stated, "we are still new to therapy" right? Well, it's understandable that because you are new to working with a therapist that you are not "yet" sure how therapy will help you or even if you can actually "trust" your therapist "yet". Ofcourse you will at times feel stubborn and fearful or even terrified too.

A good therapist has to "learn" that when they work with a patient the first goal for them is to help the patient feel "safe". You also instinctively know you need to feel that with a therapist, so, for you to feel safe there will be some of that stubborness as well as fearfulness and even at times being terrified. You need your therapist to see this too, you need to know that your new therapist will be "there" for you no matter what part of you comes forward with challenges.

[betweenarock]

I catch myself saying we instead of me all the time