[ADeepSandbox]

I've been depressed for so long now. Years. Meds just aren't helping. Been on it for three months now, doubled dose a month ago, still no different.

Got very upset at work. I work in media, cover crime among other things. Had to deal with something horrific. So much death. Wanted to throw up, felt dizzy. Panic maybe. I guess I'm triggered though I don't even feel right using that word. Dealing with horrible events is traumatic enough on its own. I'm not the sick one. The world is sick. You can only spend so much time in the filth before it starts to not wash off. ptsd is somewhat job related, stuff I've seen though also has other causes.

Had to go be in a huge loud crowd immediately after for hours. Managed to take a break and get somewhere quiet for a breather. Wanted to scream the entire time. Too many people. Too much noise. I want to curl up somewhere small and far away, quiet.

Everything is so loud and demanding and I'm so tired.

Just needed to express myself. I'm not in any danger. Just very upset.

[ADeepSandbox]

Preemptively: no therapy. Period. Didn't help. Not doing it again. Useless. Thanks.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by ADeepSandbox

I've been depressed for so long now. Years. Meds just aren't helping. Been on it for three months now, doubled dose a month ago, still no different.

Got very upset at work. I work in media, cover crime among other things. Had to deal with something horrific. So much death. Wanted to throw up, felt dizzy. Panic maybe. I guess I'm triggered though I don't even feel right using that word. Dealing with horrible events is traumatic enough on its own. I'm not the sick one. The world is sick. You can only spend so much time in the filth before it starts to not wash off. ptsd is somewhat job related, stuff I've seen though also has other causes.

Had to go be in a huge loud crowd immediately after for hours. Managed to take a break and get somewhere quiet for a breather. Wanted to scream the entire time. Too many people. Too much noise. I want to curl up somewhere small and far away, quiet.

Everything is so loud and demanding and I'm so tired.

Just needed to express myself. I'm not in any danger. Just very upset.

I was in law enforcement for 18 yrs yes the things that we have to see while the others are safe and secure in their beds, eh? Have you thought a change of jobs? It's not going to get any easier and before you do something to tarnish your record would be a good time to do something else. Can you cover something else? Is that even an option?