[xXFiyaXx]

The two disorder I have that matter here are psychosis and ptsd (both diagnosed, yes) basically I just had my first actual flashback. Usually I just have passing unwanted memories of the thing that happened and it makes me really unhappy and all that ****, but this was the first time I experienced a legitimate flashback. And I was too scared to even get up or talk in fear it would just trigger another one but also because this of course set of me breaking from reality almost completely. I never had a psychotic break because I was always able to hold on to something to keep me in reality. I don’t know how I do it honestly that’s just how I can best express it.... and honestly it’s scary. I’ve been fine from me million and one mental disorders for a long time. Hell I went off my meds (I cold turkeyed them.. probably not one of my brightest moments but I made it through fine lol)

And I guess I just need some advice here and I’m too scared to ask my fiancé (who’s sitting right next to me at this point lol he can’t see my iPod screen tho) should I go back on my meds at this point? For what i think I need? Or should I wait it out? And for those of you with psychosis who have learned how to stay out of a break how do you do it if you have a way? Honestly any advice will do at this point.