[fightingthis]

Hi all, the crux of my problem is this: I want closeness and intimacy, and yet I don't. I have PTSD, and one of my traumas was childhood sexual abuse. Since my divorce in 2004, I've just avoided this almost completely. I did the online dating thing last year, and nothing bad happened. None of the three guys I met were people I really clicked with all that much. Since then, I check my okcupid account, but I don't really do anything with it. I feel very much stuck in feeling that to stay safe, I need to keep my distance. I'm in therapy, working on dealing with this issue. My question to you all is if you've been able to resolve this ambivalence around relationships, how did you do it? I think this is a common issue for people with PTSD, so looking for answers from all of you with a trauma history, doesn't have to be sexual abuse. Trusting people is just so difficult for me. I have a small group of friends that I've had for years, so I do have companionship. Thanks everyone, stay strong!