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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,685
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#1
I wish people would understand that PTSD is not just a matter of "holding on to the past." We cannot simply "forget about it," or "move on," or "let it go."
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Grand Member
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#2
I wish people would/could understand that having a PTSD dx doesn't automatically mean a person is,or will become, violent.Or that anytime they are upset or mad about something it's not always because of their illness.
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,685
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#3
Quote:
I'd like for people not to take that exaggerated startle reflex personally. If I jump through the ceiling because you made a noise I wasn't expecting, or because you suddenly came into my field of vision when I didn't know you were there, it doesn't mean I'm afraid of *you.* It's called a reflex because it's something my body does automatically, and there isn't anything anybody can do about it. I'd also like for people to let go of the idea that PTSD is something only combat veterans can get. |
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Poohbah
Member Since Sep 2017
Location: A Growlery in the UK
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#4
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#5
I FULLY agree.. We don't choose to have this diagnosis, but if you do, people just don't understand what it is or how to act like we are normal people as well. I can't seem to drill in someone's head what it's like to have this issue and not react differently than others..we didn't ASK for this in the first place.
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Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2017
Location: Europe
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#6
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Grand Member
Member Since Apr 2017
Location: USA
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#7
I wish people would understand that in order to have a PTSD dx a person has been through a major,life changing trauma(s)The way the term PTSD is casually thrown around,along with the term trauma seems invalidating.
I also wish people would understand how hard PTSD is to deal with.If they did they wouldn't casually use the term. |
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Grand Member
Member Since Apr 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 857
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#8
I wish people could understand how it feels when I am startled so they wouldn't laugh.It's NOT funny!
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,685
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#9
There are people who know full well that somebody has PTSD, and make a game of deliberately jumping out at them so they can laugh at the startle reaction. That is truly sadistic. I won't tolerate people like that in my life anymore.
Yes, PTSD does get thrown around casually. If somebody once fell down a flight of stairs, and ever since then they've been very careful on stairs, this isn't because they "have PTSD about it." It's because they learned a life lesson. I've read where it's become the latest fad diagnosis, and that upsets me because when that happens, it waters down the public perception of it, and people who actually have real, live PTSD are taken less seriously. |
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Grand Member
Member Since Apr 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 857
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#10
Quote:
I didn't understand what PTSD was before I received the diagnosis and learned about it through therapy and research.I did know it was a severe illness though and that it took some pretty major stuff to cause it,like being in war.I actually only thought it was something those in the military could get.So I was surprised when I was diagnosed. I've noticed it's mostly young people that throw the PTSD label around casually,claiming it for a bad break up or because a parent yelled at them once,etc.It does seem to be a fad dx for some reason. Maybe I'm missing the glamour of it?If anyone thinks it's a cool thing to have,they can have mine,I would gladly give it away in a heartbeat. My son asked me recently "how does it feel to be traumatized mom?"I told him I don't know how it feels to not be,I've had PTSD since I was a young child and explained my symptoms,what I go through when I've been triggered,etc.It was hard to describe what feeling "traumatized" is when I don't have a before traumatization to compare it to. |
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Location: Australia
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#11
As with all mental health issues, I wish more people would have more understanding, and stop treating people like they are somehow "less" if they are affected by it.
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,685
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#12
In a way it's a blessing that my husband and I both have PTSD from childhood abuse. We can understand each other. Sometimes he does take it personally when he unexpectedly enters the room and I jump a mile. "Sh, sh, hey, it's OK. It's just me." And I have to remind him that I can't control it, and it's not his fault, and I don't blame him for "scaring" me.
That's one thing he doesn't appear to have, that startle reflex. His comes out more in the form of nightmares, which I don't have as many of anymore. Early in our marriage, we were getting ready for bed. He took his belt off so he could put his pants in the wash. I had my back turned. When I heard that sudden zzzzzip of leather clearing the belt loops, I was *under* the bed before I even realized it. And I was well over 40 and hadn't had a belt taken to me in decades. He understood. Now he lets me know when he's about to take his belt off, so I'll expect it and not be startled. Some men in that situation might have been offended. "You got scared because I took my belt off? What kind of husband do you think I am?" But it's not about that. |
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Location: United Kingdom
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#13
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Thank you so much for sharing this. __________________ Borderline Personality Disorder, C-PTSD, DID, Depression, Anxiety I have a FREE short story about Sci Fi and Mental Health - Billie Prime, available at https://writteninshadows.wordpress.c.../billie-prime/ |
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#14
I live in the U.K. It's only recently (since Gulf War) that the government/military professionals even recognise PTSD for soldiers. Thankfully it's getting more recognised for non-vets now, but there is still a very strong belief that only soldiers can have this.
__________________ Borderline Personality Disorder, C-PTSD, DID, Depression, Anxiety I have a FREE short story about Sci Fi and Mental Health - Billie Prime, available at https://writteninshadows.wordpress.c.../billie-prime/ |
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Grand Member
Member Since Apr 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 857
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#15
I wish that when I have thoughts and opinions people don't automatically assume it's just because I have been triggered.
I was saying that very thing to my son just yesterday.I was very upset about something and was voicing my opinion and thoughts about it.I became frustrated when I was told it was 'because of my PTSD".I explained that anyone would be upset in the same situation.Sometimes I think it's used as a way to gaslight me into thinking it's just me over reacting. |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,685
6 365 hugs
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#16
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Grand Member
Member Since Apr 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 857
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#17
Quote:
When my symptoms are in high gear,it's not that I'm just lazy and don't want to go in Walmart(or any other super store),it's because it's too overwhelming.If I am feeling unsafe and feel afraid of everyone and everything,it's too much to go in a gigantic store with tons of people.It just doesn't feel safe. If I don't make eye contact it's because I'm too afraid. If I don't talk,I'm too afraid If I don't leave my house or answer my phone,I'm too afraid. Some things ARE from my illness.I'm not being dramatic,lazy or faking. |
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#18
That it's a temporary illness. (I've also had people - including health care professionals! - make this assumption about my general anxiety disorder. Like WTF?! No. These are chronic ongoing conditions.)
That it can be completely cured. That because I've never been in combat, or violently assaulted, or in some sort of horrific accident, that I don't actually have PTSD. Wrong. Mine is known as Complex PTSD. It's the cumulative effect of many "smaller" traumatic incidents that have occurred at various points in my life from birth until recently. The effect is the same. __________________ "How do you define normal?" -- Fox Mulder |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,685
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#19
I'd like to dispel the myth that a trauma has to be "serious enough" before it qualifies. We should never belittle someone else's experience. "You have PTSD because you got whipped with a belt? Shoot, I used to get locked in the basement! You should feel grateful it wasn't worse!" Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2016
Location: Mississippi
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#20
Thank you for this thread. It is encouraging me greatly right now.
I share in all the comments here. __________________ "What is denied, cannot be healed." - Brennan Manning "Hope knows that if great trials are avoided, great deeds remain undone and the possibility of growth into greatness of soul is aborted." - Brennan Manning |
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