I was triggered by something from a movie I watched today.

I have originally posted this in another part of the forum but, a friend wanted me to post it here too so, here it is.
I'm not going to say what it was because it's too personal to me to fully open up about it at this point but, the effect that it had on my was that I tried to ignore it at first and tried to just push the feelings and thoughts away until the movie ended which was soon, thank goodness.
After the movie ended I got up off of the floor because I was nervous and was being bombarded by negative feelings and fears about what may have happened to me as a child and my suspicions about all of that. I felt anxiety and depression coming my way and suddenly there was a pretty intense fear that a blocked memory from my childhood was about to show up and even though I couldn't see it, I had a feeling that I knew what it was and that just about sent me into a panic because I didn't want to see it and "V", one of my supportive alters had to calm me down and I was nauseated too but, had to force myself to eat to counter the depression that was coming over me and growing by the second. I ate some ramen noodles because that helps me to feel better when I'm depressed and afterward I still couldn't shake the depression and took a nap for about an hour and a half or so and when I awoke I did feel better and had my self control back to almost normal.
I just want to know if anyone else has ever experienced anything like this with the fear, dread and panic of a long ago, unseen memory threatening to show itself and if it could possibly be an indication that I was abused in some way that was so bad that the memory of it had to be blocked. I see my T in two days but, I don't know if I can hold out that long. Any advice would be greatly appreciated and thank you in advance.

I feel you entirely. I was triggered by something in a tv show I watch yesterday and before I knew it I was completely dissociated and experiencing flashbacks. The past two days I've been vacillating back and forth between past trauma and the present. I haven't been entirely aware of what the date is. And at the same time being expected to function in the real world while dealing with the fact that my brain has splintered.

And then it didn't help that some other stimuli triggered me further and has prevented me from getting back to reality and the present.

I wish I wasn't this fragile, but I am.

I hope you get back to normal and feel better.

Seesaw

Thanks seesaw. Hope you get to feeling better too.

Yes, I experience that kind of thing very often. For the last week I have been having emotional and physical flashbacks but not had the knowing of what it is about, only knowing that it is to do with childhood abuse. My alters hold the abuse memories and they usually come back to me in dissociated parts. Like I might have the emotion at one time and the physical sensations another time etc. Have you ever reassociated memories that your alters hold before?

I'm not sure and am not certain what reassociated means. I know that my first alter who came about after my dad left me is a very angry alter and a persecutor type but, if he's holding anything back he's never said so. None of my others have come forward with any information either and we all are very close and open and honest with one another. Thanks for letting me know that what I experienced was normal and not just me over reacting to a perceived fear.

Triggers are so hard because you don't always know what they will be or see them coming. I've had moments where I have become incredibly upset. My PTSD memories are not hidden, but they sneak up on me just the same.

You are lucky to have V there to support you. Hugs.

Thanks, SG. I know that you deal with many difficulties as well and are learning to overcome them. You're quite possibly the toughest person I've ever met. V has helped me with my hurt too and was there for me last night too when I was on edge and my nerves were getting to me. She's a good alter to have. You're a lot like V in so many ways. More so than anyone else I've ever met. Most people don't hold a candle to V but, you've passed that test with flying colors and I'm proud to know you and have you as a close friend. Thank you. ((((hugs))))

My ex-boyfriend was really into horror films. We watched one together, and it featured the threat of children being hurt. I had massive flashbacks to sunken memories, and that mostly started me on my journey of an abuse survivor. Until that day I had nightmares, odd feelings around some people, but so much stuff resurfaced and in such detail that I couldn't deny it. I never watch horror now, and I'm nervous about seeing films, books and tv shows, period. I really wish they had better warnings on films.

I've been experiencing this. I have a hard time watching any movies that show fear of any kind. I watched a comedy movie that had bullying in it, and the fear they showed in those kids when they were being shoved in lockers or something was awful for me.

One of the last times I had sex with my partner he asked me to create a playlist of horror movies. I put in a few that I had downloaded, but never actually watched. One of those came on while we were having sex and it had a very graphic and long scene of a woman being raped in the same position I was raped in. It was awful. I couldn't get the image out of my head for a long time and finishing the sex we were having was incredibly difficult for me.

What you are describing is not unusual. Triggers come from strange places sometimes, and we don't always understand where they come from.

The weirdest one I ever had was from a Peter Gabriel concert video my son loaned me. I think it was the one in Athens in '87, I'm not sure since I turned it off, put it back in it's case and gave it back to him.

In it, Peter was singing the song, "No Self Control" and the lighting booms were coming down as if they were attacking him and he was rolling around back and forth trying to get away, but he was surrounded by them. That so freaked me out I ran out of the room crying. Luckily, I was alone, so I wasn't committed.