[leomama]

Feeling joy, finding your people, feeling excited.

Its funny when I listen to people give other people advice about how to know when you've found healthy people.
Its like, hello, when you've got anxiety or ptsd, you can't feel those things...

My people are people who are ok with or comfortable with emotional neutrality, I would say Vulcans, Vulcans suppress their emotions.

What do you think?

[Open Eyes]

It definitely is a challenge to manage PTSD, a lot depends on a person's personal history and how many times the person experienced situations where they experienced or witnessed others behave in toxic ways and did not know how to react or feel "safe" in these toxic situations.

One of the big challenges with PTSD is anticipation anxiety where the person has gotten to the point where they have experienced so many toxic things that it's hard for the person to actually feel "safe" when they try to interact in the world and with other human beings. The reason a person develops PTSD is because that person suffered a big enough loss that they struggle to trust "self" to have the ability to keep self safe along with whatever is important to "self" too.

When other people tell me to "relax and let things go", or to "just ignore or just forget", it just tells me how very little that other person understands that it's because I let things go or ignored that put me in a vulnerable place that ended up causing me to lose something extremely important to me.

Human beings are very judgmental and can also be very tribal and this tribal mentality tends to decide others who don't have their beliefs and opinions and follow a certain type of existence that they automatically can "hate" without even knowing the individual and that individual's history. Human beings tend to decide they have the right to "value" things based on if certain things are important to them or not, can decide something has no value without knowing anything about whatever it is that can actually have a lot of value.

It doesn't surprise me that a person that has been exposed to or grew up in dysfunction and had to thrive despite the toxic behaviors that person witnessed can have a hard time identifying "a healthy person that can actually be trusted".

[Skeezyks]

I don't have any people. I just keep to myself...

[leomama]

Thanks for the 2 replies so far. I have my job, my church, my family, my book clubs, my chats, but I’m definitely not tribal and when I listen to people talk about what gives you joy or what you feel passionate about, I can’t relate. Like when people talk about what makes you lose track of time, well, nothing. It would be illogical to lose track of time.

[Fuzzybear]

I’m supposed to be quiet, I’ve been labelled a “quiet person”.. so apparently, I have nothing to give. Otherwise I would try to answer your question

Anticipatory anxiety, . Don’t get me started

They stole my feeling of safety



(Not about anyone on pc)

[MDDBPDPTSD]

My chosen people are compassionate and emotional. Even so, some don’t understand the intensity and level of danger I experience in day to day life. But they try.

My family, with one exception*, doesn’t value emotions and believes that I must just forget it and move on. They have no concept of the impossibility of what they suggest and they get very frustrated with me that I don’t take their advice. They just don’t get it.

* The one exception in my family is my youngest daughter who has PTSD as well as BPD and has currently decided that I am to be hated. So there’s that.
Just keep breathing. It is what it is. Just keep breathing.

[My Paper Heart]

Originally Posted by leomama

My people are people who are ok with or comfortable with emotional neutrality, I would say Vulcans, Vulcans suppress their emotions.

Assuming you're being serious, I agree. I've said numerous times that I wish I was a robot because they don't have emotions and life would be a lot easier without emotions. (Borderline Personality Disorder intensifies all emotions and makes them fairly uncontrollable so I'm just done with my emotions.) As it is, I'm overly logical so adding emotions into the mix just doesn't make sense to me.

Example: Last week at the psychologist's office, I started crying upon finding out my PTSD regarding hospitals got worse and now extends to everything related to hospitals. Yet I've said many times that crying serves no purpose. I actually logic-ed my psychologist into being unable to deny my claims.

So as someone who experiences intensified emotions (I don't know anxiousness, instead I get mini panic attacks and I don't just get scared, I freak out in complete terror) I'm all for become emotionless.

[leomama]

Why wouldn’t I be serious?

[PianogirlPlays]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

It definitely is a challenge to manage PTSD, a lot depends on a person's personal history and how many times the person experienced situations where they experienced or witnessed others behave in toxic ways and did not know how to react or feel "safe" in these toxic situations.

One of the big challenges with PTSD is anticipation anxiety where the person has gotten to the point where they have experienced so many toxic things that it's hard for the person to actually feel "safe" when they try to interact in the world and with other human beings. The reason a person develops PTSD is because that person suffered a big enough loss that they struggle to trust "self" to have the ability to keep self safe along with whatever is important to "self" too.

When other people tell me to "relax and let things go", or to "just ignore or just forget", it just tells me how very little that other person understands that it's because I let things go or ignored that put me in a vulnerable place that ended up causing me to lose something extremely important to me.

Human beings are very judgmental and can also be very tribal and this tribal mentality tends to decide others who don't have their beliefs and opinions and follow a certain type of existence that they automatically can "hate" without even knowing the individual and that individual's history. Human beings tend to decide they have the right to "value" things based on if certain things are important to them or not, can decide something has no value without knowing anything about whatever it is that can actually have a lot of value.

It doesn't surprise me that a person that has been exposed to or grew up in dysfunction and had to thrive despite the toxic behaviors that person witnessed can have a hard time identifying "a healthy person that can actually be trusted".

Stuck in the pain of the issue of emotional safety. I feel painfully distrustful.

[PianogirlPlays]

The pain has turned inward and is hurting!

[leomama]

Originally Posted by PianogirlPlays

The pain has turned inward and is hurting!

I'm sorry to hear that, do you have a therapist or trusted friend to talk to?

[Unrigged64072835]

It's hard to find joy in something when all you're doing is surviving day to day.

[MoxieDoxie]

Joy? I had said that to T one time. I do not know that feeling as I have never felt joy. To me Joy would be at peace I guess that would be the closest thing I could label joy or happiness. When I close the door behind me when I get home from being out with clients. To me that is the only thing I can relate to joy. Joy/happiness=peace to me. Peace from overwhelming emotions and worries.