[Calla lily12]

If this isn't the right place for this, tell me.
Very upset day with worry branching into panic. I e mailed my T and his response totally misunderstood my fear. Totally misunderstood everything I said. It's happening more and more lately. He isn't on the same plane as I am and I've seen him for over 20 years. I'm panicking because I don't know if my Medicare will be taken away, which means no meds and no hospital when I lose it.
After that I watched a movie called Stephanie. A little girl all alone in her house, protecting herself from something that's coming for her. There were so many parallels to my life. The whole being alone thing.... As in my life flashbacks ****** TRIGGER

I used to dream of a "monster" or something with heavy footsteps coming in the door. If I picked my head up to look, it would kill me
being all alone in the front hall . The sun was going down and there was no one home. I was young and only had my dog for company. I fell asleep on that gray rug with my dog. The whole abandonment thing terrified me. And he ending of the movie the little girl tells her father "You should have killed me when you had the chance". It is my life and to see it traumatized me.

This won't make sense to anyone else and I feel so alone and scared. I understand if no one understands why I'm both terrified and sad.
I wish I could cry safely.....

[Calla lily12]

Originally Posted by Calla lily12

If this isn't the right place for this, tell me.
Very upset day with worry branching into panic. I e mailed my T and his response totally misunderstood my fear. Totally misunderstood everything I said. It's happening more and more lately. He isn't on the same plane as I am and I've seen him for over 20 years. I'm panicking because I don't know if my Medicare will be taken away, which means no meds and no hospital when I lose it.
After that I watched a movie called Stephanie. A little girl all alone in her house, protecting herself from something that's coming for her. There were so many parallels to my life. The whole being alone thing.... As in my life flashbacks ****** TRIGGER

I used to dream of a "monster" or something with heavy footsteps coming in the door. If I picked my head up to look, it would kill me
being all alone in the front hall . The sun was going down and there was no one home. I was young and only had my dog for company. I fell asleep on that gray rug with my dog. The whole abandonment thing terrified me. And he ending of the movie the little girl tells her father "You should have killed me when you had the chance". It is my life and to see it traumatized me.

This won't make sense to anyone else and I feel so alone and scared. I understand if no one understands why I'm both terrified and sad.
I wish I could cry safely.....

I know it's stupid...I'm sorry but I can't get the trigger ut of my head. My T will not understand why I'm so scared.

[Calla lily12]

There's no one who can help me. I'm alone.

[Raindropvampire]

I'm here if it helps. I do understand why you are so scared and triggered I've had a similar thing happen before. There is a dream I have that still terrifies me and once I woke up and basically had the dream come true. I was so triggered I just curled up in a ball and sobbed hysterically for about an hour.

[Calla lily12]

Originally Posted by Calla lily12

I know it's stupid...I'm sorry but I can't get the trigger ut of my head. My T will not understand why I'm so scared.

Did I write this post or did someone write it in order to put tthe trigger icon in the right place? I can't remember. I'm sorry if my post triggered anyone else.