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Member Since Oct 2018
Location: Amongst the stars
Posts: 113
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#21
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I'm trying my best to learn that it's good that I at least recognize these things and am trying to improve as a result. I tell myself that my family will never ever change and because of this, I'll have no choice but to ultimately make the best choice that's going to help me. And that choice is to move far, far away where they can't bother me. I can't do it anymore. They're too toxic. And life is too short to spend it like this. |
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New Member
Member Since Dec 2019
Location: San Bernardino
Posts: 1
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#22
Quote:
My ptsd is a combination of childhood trauma and several other traumas I went through . I In 2001 my fiance died suddenly of a heartache at only 32 yrs old. It devastated me . He was the love of my life. He was strong , healthy and handsome so it was a shock when he suddenly passed away . We didnt know he had a heart condition from birth that was never diagnosed . I was never the same after he passed away & shattered my heart . I was just starting to move on with my life when in 2003 I was in a near fatal automobile accident which devastated my life once again . I needed 7 surgeries to repair my shattered collarbone and I lost everything...my job , my car ( obviously) , my home. I had 2 small children and single so I had to move back in with my mother & stepfather after my accident until I could get back on my feet & recooperate. My mom used my accident to blame me though I wasnt at fault it was a hit n run but she somehow made me feel I caused it and made me feel like we were a burden. She used my loss to take control and try to take my 2 girls from me. She took advantage of my situation to gain the upperhand and made it almost impossible to get back on my feet. She enjoyed knowing she once again had control over my life like she did when I was a child. It took me a decade to get back on my feet and learn to not let her & my family bring me down. You just have to realize some people are toxic & incapable of empathy ,love , compassion etc and sadly these people like myself could be the only family you have. Your family is supposed to love you unconditionally and nurture you not tear you down . Your family are the exact people you are supposed to make you feel safe & comforted and loved but in my case it was the exact opposite. The only person besides my 2 beautiful daughters , my fiance who passed away and my real father who died last yr ( another devastating trauma ) and I lost contact with after my parents divorced and my mom purposely did everything humanly possible to keep my dad from finding us. You are still young and have your whole life in front of you. My advice to you is to stop internalizing all the toxicity that your family is beating into you. You did nothing wrong . They for whatever sick reasons hate themselves and see good in you which makes them try to destroy it & you to make themselves feel better they have to tear you down . Once you realize its not you thats to blame and that you deserve better then they treat you .... thats when you can get the strength to tune them out and if you have to cut them out of your life. They wont change unless they want to and their more than likely in denial they are the problem so the Only thing you can do is change the environment and rid yourself of negative toxic people even if they are your family. Believe me it does you know good suffering at their hands needlessly. I didnt realize I could be so happy once I cut them out of my life and chose to only have people in my life who were positive influence. I wish you the courage , strength and faith in yourself to overcome this and start living a life removed from toxic ugly people. Good luck & God bless you. You can do it. Dont waste one more moment miserable when you can be free of it and have a life surrounded by love. Vm Last edited by CANDC; Dec 29, 2019 at 06:20 PM.. Reason: add paragraphs |
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Member
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: Canada
Posts: 133
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#23
Thanks for this. I have been diagnosed with PTSD but I was beaten up on daily basis by my younger sister. She constantly beat me up or threatened to hurt me. I grew up feeling inadequate as a boy and have had very low self confidence and have a number of mental health issues and have been in and out of therapy since my 20s. My family didn’t protect me and called me sissy or wuss for not being able to stand up my grounds, which added to my problems. Because of the low self esteem caused by my sister, I was bullied at school as well.
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,258
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#24
“concern troll”
^I love this expression! So true! I’ve had to deal with this. I’ve had a series of traumas, none of them the level of direct and immediate life threatening, and they keep on coming. I’m in a toxic relationship I can’t repair, yet stay, and stay medicated and try to stay calm. I am shocked by the level of extreme stressful experiences have happened to me and nearly everyone I know. It’s not just me and my family. It’s global, I think. __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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