on tuesday, I watched corination street (which is a soap opera I watch)

it was a pretty sad episode, and also a pretty triggering one

Possible trigger:

in the episode, a roof of a factory collapsed killing 1 of the characters. actually, the character got out of the factory, but died later in a hospital room whhile she was proposing to another character (she actually died at the moment you are meant to kiss the bride)

this was a very hard episode for me to watch, for 2 reasons

Possible trigger:

1 reason is, I have witnessed someone die in my arms, twice- and when the character died, I felt her collapse in to my arms (like she was one of the 2 people I'd witnessed), but I was screaming rana, rana, rana (rana being the name of the character who died), and it felt like rana, (or who ever was in my arms) felt familiar to me

the other reason is because when my grandfather died, he fell off a roof- that's how he died, so naturally a sceen involving a roof collapse probably wasn't the best choice for viewing.

anyway, now I'm blaming myself for it- for watching the episode, for putting myself through it and for feeling triggered.

I mean what kind of person (unless they were really stupid) would watch a roof of a factory collapse and come to the conclusion well, the factory's collapsed, but everything's going to be okay

the next few episodes are going to be hard with the funeral and stuff (so I am going to do my best to avoid them), but still

I am so, so stupid

[Betty_Banana]

You're not stupid,you had no clue what was going to happen on the soap opera ahead of time.Don't beat yourself for being triggered by it.

I call myself stupid too though when I watch things that trigger me.Sometimes I watch trailers for movies,I know they will trigger me and I still watch them.

[mountainstream]

[Calla lily12]

You aren't stupid at all. I've heard that people tend to recreate their traumas. (by watching a tv show etc.) It's a natural reaction. Use all the self care you can. Be good to your self and never refer to yourself as stupid.

Originally Posted by Betty_Banana

You're not stupid,you had no clue what was going to happen on the soap opera ahead of time.Don't beat yourself for being triggered by it.

I call myself stupid too though when I watch things that trigger me.Sometimes I watch trailers for movies,I know they will trigger me and I still watch them.

I do that sometimes too

mainly when I feel numb and need to feel something (anything)

I have a list of movies that trigger me which I keep coming back to in those circumstances

Originally Posted by Calla lily12

You aren't stupid at all. I've heard that people tend to recreate their traumas. (by watching a tv show etc.) It's a natural reaction. Use all the self care you can. Be good to your self and never refer to yourself as stupid.

thanks for your post

as bad as this sounds, I always forget about the self care

I guess my train of thought is.. why should I care for myself. what's my reason