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#1
I am reading the book right now and having a hard time figuring our which hybrid I am. I think I live in all of them equally maybe?
Last edited by CANDC; Mar 26, 2019 at 02:57 PM.. Reason: Moved to own thread posted to old thread |
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cptsdwhoa, Fuzzybear
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cptsdwhoa, HD7970GHZ
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#2
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HD7970GHZ
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#3
Fight
Flight Freeze Fawn I think I’m a mixture too It’s a good book in my opinion, thanks for this post. __________________ |
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HD7970GHZ, Lilfae
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HD7970GHZ, Lilfae, may24
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#4
Thank believe that I’m a mixture of all of them too. It kind of feels like it goes in a sequence depending on the situation that I’m triggered in.
__________________ "What is denied, cannot be healed." - Brennan Manning "Hope knows that if great trials are avoided, great deeds remain undone and the possibility of growth into greatness of soul is aborted." - Brennan Manning |
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Fuzzybear, HD7970GHZ, Lilfae
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#5
I wasn't sure either the first time I read the book because I could see I had traits of all of them... But after some time paying attention to my behaviors and tendencies I would say I am Freeze-Flight.
I go from periods of isolating myself and avoiding life in every way I can, to spending the whole day outside doing things compulsively. Both of them serve me as a coping mechanism to avoid connecting with my emotions. I've been doing this my whole life without even being aware of it. I'm trying to work on it. Pete Walker's book helped me gain some insight. __________________ |
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Lilfae
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#6
because Im a dissociative my reaction is flight. my brain/I has had to work very hard at staying in fight mode of grounding and then looking at the problem and solving it. because of dissociation I never hit the freeze nor the looking like a deer in headlights.
example for me its triggered feel numb spaced out disconnected then an alter would take control to handle that trigger, solve the problem. now its feel triggered start feeling numb spaced out disconnected then breath do my grounding and fight (take care of the problem that is causing me to be triggered) |
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Fuzzybear, HD7970GHZ
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blueoceaneyes, Lilfae
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#7
Just curious what the book is? I'm a freezer for sure.
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Fuzzybear, HD7970GHZ
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#8
I like this thread
I have experienced all in my life, but primarily I experience Fawn. At least in most situations. I have rarely if ever gone to Freeze and sometimes Fight - but only after the abuse happens repeatedly. Everyone reaches breaking point. I really wish I could Flee more - I think that could have spared me a lot of additional trauma. __________________ "stand for those who are forgotten - sacrifice for those who forget" "roller coasters not only go up and down - they also go in circles" "the point of therapy - is to get out of therapy" "don't put all your eggs - in one basket" "promote pleasure - prevent pain" "with change - comes loss" |
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Fuzzybear, Lilfae
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#9
freeze-fawn-flight.
Only fight if abuse is repeated. |
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Fuzzybear, HD7970GHZ, Lilfae
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#10
I would think of these more as states than types, clearly it is possible to move between all of them depending on the context.
Also I think there are 6 - I added (based on personal experience) 2 more: Fight Flight Fawn Freeze Feign (death) - pretend to be a corpse, this may be a final tactic to having been seen/caught (eg after freezing, flighting, flying etc haven't worked) - you are trying to feign not being a target or a threat by 'going limp' (only works if the hunter doesn't like to scavenge or play with their food) - I have done this loads Fantasize - retreat inwards to a safe imaginary place - also a common escape route |
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blueoceaneyes, Lilfae, saidso
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#11
Once my observation figured out it was abuse I fought....to a limited protective level. BUT it had pushed me to a level of physical & emotionally being messed up & my mom died from her cancer within a month. Not having a support system in my life at that time, when the police didn't have the evidence they needed to prosecutd(cashed checks because I protected my mom too good ) I didn't have the strength to go after the hospital & everyone who contributed to everything that happened.
I actually left there & started life over....that definitely was FLIGHT. Though I did my protective fight job while it was happening. __________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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HD7970GHZ, Lilfae
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HD7970GHZ
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#12
Ah yes...the 4 Fs. I tend to Fawn/Freeze. I first learned about this in Pete Walker's book From Surviving to Thriving which is about healing from Complex PTSD. It's a very worthwhile read.
Pete Walker, M.A. Psychotherapy |
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Lilfae
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Lilfae, unaluna
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#13
Interesting thread!
Does the book say that people tend to do just one of these things? I think it sounds strange to think of it as types. I think I do all of them from time to time. Fighting is not very often, but I can do it if it's not just for me, but for somebody else as well. But flight, is that only meant physically? In therapy this week my therapist talked about the window of tolerance (not sure of the word in English), and that when I fall down beneath it, I am often dissociating, which means I've fled the situation, mentally. But if so, fleeing and freezing can actually be the same thing. Or am I getting it all wrong? Quote:
__________________ "Little girls don't stay little forever. They turn into strong women that return to destroy your world." ~Kyle Stephens
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#14
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cptsdwhoa, Lilfae
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#15
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This is some information from his site about the flight response and the freeze response (I hope it answers your question): The Flight Type and the Obsessive-Compulsive Defense Flight types appear as if their starter button is stuck in the "on" position. They are obsessively and compulsively driven by the unconscious belief that perfection will make them safe and loveable. As children, flight types respond to their family trauma somewhere along a hyperactive continuum that stretches between the extremes of the driven "A" student and the ADHD dropout running amok. They relentlessly flee the inner pain of their abandonment and lack of attachment with the symbolic flight of constant busyness. When the obsessive/compulsive flight type is not doing, she is worrying and planning about doing. Flight types are prone to becoming addicted to their own adrenalization, and many recklessly and regularly pursue risky and dangerous activities to keep their adrenalin-high going. These types are also as susceptible to stimulating substance addictions, as they are to their favorite process addictions: workaholism and busyholism. Severely traumatized flight types may devolve into severe anxiety and panic disorders. TX: Many flight types are so busy trying to stay one step ahead of their pain that introspecting out loud in the therapy hour is the only time they find to take themselves seriously. While psychoeducation is important and essential to all the types, flight types particularly benefit from it. Nowhere is this truer than in the work of learning to deconstruct their overidentification with the perfectionistic demands of their inner critic. Gently and repetitively confronting denial and minimization about the costs of perfectionism is essential, especially with workaholics who often admit their addiction to work but secretly hold onto it as a badge of pride and superiority. Deeper work with flight types - as with all types -gradually opens them to grieving their original abandonment and all its concomitant losses. Egosyntonic crying is an unparalleled tool for shrinking the obsessive perseverations of the critic and for ameliorating the habit of compulsive rushing. As recovery progresses, flight types can acquire a "gearbox" that allows them to engage life at a variety of speeds, including neutral. Flight types also benefit from using mini-minute meditations to help them identify and deconstruct their habitual "running". I teach such clients to sit comfortably, systemically relax, breathe deeply and diaphragmatically, and ask themselves questions such as: "What is my most important priority right now?", or when more time is available: "What hurt am I running from right now? Can I open my heart to the idea and image of soothing myself in my pain?" Finally, there are numerous flight types who exhibit symptoms that may be misperceived as cyclothymic bipolar disorder; I address this issue at length in my article: "Managing Abandonment Depression in Complex PTSD". The Freeze Type and the Dissociative Defense Many freeze types unconsciously believe that people and danger are synonymous, and that safety lies in solitude. Outside of fantasy, many give up entirely on the possibility of love. The freeze response, also known as the camouflage response, often triggers the individual into hiding, isolating and eschewing human contact as much as possible. This type can be so frozen in retreat mode that it seems as if their starter button is stuck in the "off" position. It is usually the most profoundly abandoned child - "the lost child" - who is forced to "choose" and habituate to the freeze response (the most primitive of the 4Fs). Unable to successfully employ fight, flight or fawn responses, the freeze type's defenses develop around classical dissociation, which allows him to disconnect from experiencing his abandonment pain, and protects him from risky social interactions - any of which might trigger feelings of being reabandoned. Freeze types often present as ADD; they seek refuge and comfort in prolonged bouts of sleep, daydreaming, wishing and right brain-dominant activities like TV, computer and video games. They master the art of changing the internal channel whenever inner experience becomes uncomfortable. When they are especially traumatized or triggered, they may exhibit a schizoid-like detachment from ordinary reality. TX: There are at least three reasons why freeze types are the most difficult 4F defense to treat. First, their positive relational experiences are few if any, and they are therefore extremely reluctant to enter the relationship of therapy; moreover, those who manage to overcome this reluctance often spook easily and quickly terminate. Second, they are harder to psychoeducate about the trauma basis of their complaints because, like many fight types, they are unconscious of their fear and their torturous inner critic. Also, like the fight type, the freeze type tends to project the perfectionistic demands of the critic onto others rather than the self, and uses the imperfections of others as justification for isolation. The critic's processes of perfectionism and endangerment, extremely unconscious in freeze types, must be made conscious and deconstructed as described in detail in my aforementioned article on shrinking the inner critic. Third, even more than workaholic flight types, freeze types are in denial about the life narrowing consequences of their singular adaptation. Because the freeze response is on a continuum that ends with the collapse response (the extreme abandonment of consciousness seen in prey animals about to be killed), many appear to be able to self-medicate by releasing the internal opioids that the animal brain is programmed to release when danger is so great that death seems immanent. The opioid production of the collapse or extreme freeze response can only take the individual so far however, and these types are therefore prone to sedating substance addictions. Many self-medicating types are often drawn to marijuana and narcotics, while others may gravitate toward ever escalating regimes of anti-depressants and anxiolytics. Moreover, when they are especially unremediated and unattached, they can devolve into increasing depression and, in worst case scenarios, into the kind of mental illness described in the book, I Never Promised You A Rose Garden. |
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blueoceaneyes, Lilfae, may24
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#16
Mixture between flight and freeze...
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may24
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#17
Being dissociative, I mostly tend to freeze, but a couple of my alters are definitely fight types.
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#18
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__________________ "Little girls don't stay little forever. They turn into strong women that return to destroy your world." ~Kyle Stephens
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cptsdwhoa
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cptsdwhoa
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#19
I think I definitely use all of them in different situations. I think I probably use Fawn more than any of the others followed probably by Fight and then Flight and Freeze. Of course this has changed over the time I have been in treatment as I have learned ways to cope with my past trauma and abuse.
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