[mountainstream]

I realise that people with NPD are often suffering. But I'm sick of being used and then viciously discarded. And all the hate that they project. How can I stop this happening?

[Breaking Dawn]

I think narcissists have too many "S"s in them. No, really. I think they live in a world of their own, & they can't relate.

[Kathleen83]

I remember watching some Youtube videos, of a therapist who worked with narcissists. One thing she said that still resonates with me - they are great guests at parties, because they are always "the life of the party" - because they HAVE to be. She went on to say she would never ever have a relationship with one, because they are incapable of having a true relationship. It sounds like you're getting good at identifying narcissists. You can't change them; just like you can't change anyone else, only yourself. So I'd say, what is it about your life that is causing you to be exposed to them? It sounds like you've had to deal with multiple ones. Is there something you can do to limit your exposure? Cut down on the number exposed to?

[leomama]

It is most definitely not your fault at all. There are people who have made it their life’s work to help people recover from narcissistic abuse. Thrive after abuse. Narcissistic abuse recovery program. Human magnet syndrome. There is help out there.

[sarahsweets]

I think the best way to avoid narcissists is to figure out what it is that I put out there to attract them and then completely avoid contact of any kind.

[Breaking Dawn]

They can disguise themselves for a while. They can be smart & clever. So then we're taught, once again, to be even more careful.

[mountainstream]

Originally Posted by Breaking Dawn

They can disguise themselves for a while. They can be smart & clever. So then we're taught, once again, to be even more careful.

Does this often happen to you too?

[leomama]

Self esteem comes from esteemable acts. You have to build yours up.

[jeremiahgirl]

Dr. Ramani D. On YouTube is excellent in helping those who struggle with Narcissistic people. She’s good!

maountainstream - exposure therapy is a cognitive behavioral technique where the subject slowly exposes themselves to their trigger over time and thus as a result, builds up a tolerance. You have to arm yourself with some verbal jujitsu when you cross paths with a narcissist. They are like kung fu artists the way they come in and surprise attack their victim with their verbal jabs (like gaslighting, minimizing feelings, contradicting, undermining, discounting, projecting, invalidating). You have to build up your self esteem stores, so that you can whack back at them with a swift verbal comeback that acts as a barrier to their "games." You know that a narcissist's main goal is to make you their next psychological prisoner where they belittle your self esteem and worldview so much, that you lose your sense of self, you no longer trust your own opinion or worldview, you won't make a decision without consulting the narcissist first, you believe their lies, and you do whatever they tell you because they've brainwashed you.

You HAVE to build up your self-esteem. That is literally the only weapon you have against a narcissist. I know. I have encountered so many (friends, lovers, family members) that I am still building up my self-esteem but I can at least recognize a narcissist from a mile away now. Even if I am related to them. I can hear their narcissism with how they speak to me - the words they use, the tone they use. And, I have some repetitious responses I can use with them. I just repeat the same thing over and over until they ****ing leave me alone. Am I perfect at it? Hell no. I still get trapped but then once I see that I'm in a trap with a narcissist, I either come here to PC and verify it, or I trust myself and get myself out of the trap and mourn the loss of the fake persona they presented to me, that I believed, so that I can move on.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

It's tough. Sorry you're struggling with it, Mountainstream.

I've only had one experience, but he was surprisingly difficult to get away from.

Thinking of you.

[Breaking Dawn]

I understand completely. Thank you, all of you, so much.