[Val12]

I had 3 traumatic experiences in childhood, 2 of which were near-death with long-term hospitalizations and 1 involving sudden death of a loved one. For nearly 30 years since, I got no treatment and my (what I now know are PTSD) symptoms were dismissed by doctors as bad behavior or attitude or character flaws. Over these 3 decades, I developed debilitating depression and anxiety, severe OCD (a therapist once told me it's the worst she's ever seen in a 25 year career) and intense phobias. I first went to treatment for depression and anxiety about 10 years ago and have had no success despite countless therapists.

Six months ago, my therapist at the time put the pieces together and suggested I might have PTSD and need to see a PTSD therapist. The PTSD therapist and I made recordings of me talking about my traumas that I listened to, but I mostly felt disconnected listening to them (I told the therapist this). I did months of listening and now we are done, but I feel no different. I still have bad depression. I still feel strong anxiety 24/7 over every little task. I still have trouble sleeping at night. I still have debilitating OCD. I'm still jumpy at the slightest sound.

My therapist said we now need to talk about how I'm going to start *living* instead of avoiding life, but all my disorders that came out of the PTSD are still huge issues. Over the past six weeks of these discussions, the only thing to come of our sessions is my need for hobbies, but even that's not going to fix disorders. Has anyone been in a similar boat or can share some advice or experience?

[princesscookie19]

Well don't be too hard on yourself, You think your bad? I have rispodal & Multi vitamins,Olanapine and other medication and I am still a psychopath.I get an injection every 2weeks and take medication 2x a day.I think you need a friend and someone to lean against. I use to Obsessed with Aliens and was bulmic for more than 10yrs and borderline anorexic.Iv been in care all my life from high support to low support back to high support.I use to self-harm and drink bleach,cut my arms,Overdose on laxitives and coffee..Once I was walking to the toilet and I seen my dads penis and from then on I was afaird of mens private areas(there penis) I use to have sex 3X a day with a murder who was 30yrs older than me.

[Fuzzybear]

You are not alone with these experiences...