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jai-jai The pain is always there, its how you live with it determines how you move forward.
 
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Default Nov 02, 2021 at 02:09 AM
  #21
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Originally Posted by SprinkL3 View Post
Throughout this entire pandemic, I've had nonstop intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, and nightmares about past traumatic events. I've also dissociated more.

My T suggested for me to use a "safety list." It's like the 5 things list, but simpler. If you can't smell due to an illness, it might be tough to use the 5 senses. Also, for some people with certain physiological disabilities and mobility issues, suggesting the 5 senses might trigger more depression or feelings of incompleteness. Because my therapist is aware of my physiological limitations, she instead suggested a more inclusive approach with me - to create my own safety list. She said it could be a safety list about anything - either within reach or something I am thinking about.

For example, my safety list looks something like this:

1. My Grumpy Care Bear is a safety object for me.
2. My apartment is safe.
3. Where I live is relatively safe.
4. My T is safe.
5. The healthy foods I eat are safe.
6. I have safe friends who validate me.
7. I have safe clothing to wear.
8. I am in a safe space sitting here.

My T had noticed that I was so focused on everything scary, including all of my triggers and even some new triggers from this traumatic pandemic, that she said the safety list would help me balance all of those fears.

That worked for me.

Over time, I would tell my T about a nightmare, a flashback, or an intrusive thought, but I wouldn't spiral down from it. Instead, I got used to using the safety list each time, which helped me to better assess whether something was safe or not, and to assess my surroundings.

Loud noises, for instance, are huge triggers for me. But I learned to tell myself that my laundry machine is safe, doing laundry is safe, laundry makes safe noises, laundry noises can mask the unsafe noises to help me feel safer, and my apartment is relatively safe. I would sometimes get the help of the crisis line while trying to work on my safety list in the middle of the night, when I heard loud noises earlier in the pandemic. There were lots of protests going on, and it was scary to hear.

Maybe these tips might help a little. It doesn't always work, but you can make a list of all your safe coping skills and try certain ones at certain times to figure out what works and when.

I really like this, I will add this to my tool kit. I've been feeling super triggered the last couple days and I'm struggling with feeling safe.

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Default Nov 03, 2021 at 06:34 PM
  #22
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Originally Posted by jai-jai View Post
I really like this, I will add this to my tool kit. I've been feeling super triggered the last couple days and I'm struggling with feeling safe. :throb:
Sounds like a great plan.

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Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Smile Nov 03, 2021 at 07:07 PM
  #23
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Originally Posted by jai-jai View Post
I really like this, I will add this to my tool kit. I've been feeling super triggered the last couple days and I'm struggling with feeling safe.
Thank you! It was my T's idea when she suggested something like that to me. I hope it helps!
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Default Dec 19, 2021 at 01:53 PM
  #24
I keep getting flashbacks. One was when I got a remark from this one brother of mine that our living room rug looked so dirty, like being treated like dirty you know. I've never forgotten it. ever. I don't think I ever will. I got other flashbacks too. I often have flashbacks in my dreams too. It has reminded me of some ****** part of my adult life. I wish I could just erase it all. What's the use of remembering things like this when the pain just won't go away? seeing mother with the shampooer today was a real trigger for me. sorry to say.
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Default Dec 21, 2021 at 07:49 PM
  #25
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Originally Posted by modestlychee6463 View Post
I keep getting flashbacks. One was when I got a remark from this one brother of mine that our living room rug looked so dirty, like being treated like dirty you know. I've never forgotten it. ever. I don't think I ever will. I got other flashbacks too. I often have flashbacks in my dreams too. It has reminded me of some ****** part of my adult life. I wish I could just erase it all. What's the use of remembering things like this when the pain just won't go away? seeing mother with the shampooer today was a real trigger for me. sorry to say.
I hear you. I hated when the flashback come in to my dreams.

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Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch.

Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Default Jan 24, 2022 at 08:25 PM
  #26
I been having flashbacks again that are coming in my dreams again. I woke up checking my place thinking I was still endangered.

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Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch.

Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Default Feb 16, 2022 at 10:21 AM
  #27
I like flashbacks and I thank God for all that I been through and as a believer I need to make sure that flashbacks are okay to talk about. So I'm sure tthat is right........So in essence as over from the DID postraumatic stress disorder I struggle with who I am so just ignore any leading statements ......

FOr flash backs just ground yourself to the presence and really get into the realness of life as flashbacks are only temporarily.
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Default Feb 16, 2022 at 11:44 AM
  #28
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Originally Posted by buddylife View Post
I like flashbacks and I thank God for all that I been through and as a believer I need to make sure that flashbacks are okay to talk about. So I'm sure tthat is right........So in essence as over from the DID postraumatic stress disorder I struggle with who I am so just ignore any leading statements ......

FOr flash backs just ground yourself to the presence and really get into the realness of life as flashbacks are only temporarily.
I’ll keep that in mind.

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Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch.

Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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