Dealing with flashback

Throughout this entire pandemic, I've had nonstop intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, and nightmares about past traumatic events. I've also dissociated more.

My T suggested for me to use a "safety list." It's like the 5 things list, but simpler. If you can't smell due to an illness, it might be tough to use the 5 senses. Also, for some people with certain physiological disabilities and mobility issues, suggesting the 5 senses might trigger more depression or feelings of incompleteness. Because my therapist is aware of my physiological limitations, she instead suggested a more inclusive approach with me - to create my own safety list. She said it could be a safety list about anything - either within reach or something I am thinking about.

For example, my safety list looks something like this:

1. My Grumpy Care Bear is a safety object for me.
2. My apartment is safe.
3. Where I live is relatively safe.
4. My T is safe.
5. The healthy foods I eat are safe.
6. I have safe friends who validate me.
7. I have safe clothing to wear.
8. I am in a safe space sitting here.

My T had noticed that I was so focused on everything scary, including all of my triggers and even some new triggers from this traumatic pandemic, that she said the safety list would help me balance all of those fears.

That worked for me.

Over time, I would tell my T about a nightmare, a flashback, or an intrusive thought, but I wouldn't spiral down from it. Instead, I got used to using the safety list each time, which helped me to better assess whether something was safe or not, and to assess my surroundings.

Loud noises, for instance, are huge triggers for me. But I learned to tell myself that my laundry machine is safe, doing laundry is safe, laundry makes safe noises, laundry noises can mask the unsafe noises to help me feel safer, and my apartment is relatively safe. I would sometimes get the help of the crisis line while trying to work on my safety list in the middle of the night, when I heard loud noises earlier in the pandemic. There were lots of protests going on, and it was scary to hear.

Maybe these tips might help a little. It doesn't always work, but you can make a list of all your safe coping skills and try certain ones at certain times to figure out what works and when.