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Member
Member Since Oct 2020
Location: Fargo, ND
Posts: 52
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#1
My father has always been verbally and emotionally abusive. One thing he likes to do is harp on is my job...any job I've ever had. He takes anything I say as proof that I'll be fired. Even if something good happens, he'll twist it around to mean that my manager isn't pleased and will fire me. I feel like nothing I do is good enough and that my employment is hanging by a thread. It makes me feel worthless. I've told him all of this and yet he still continues.
I'm 34 and still get very upset and anxious by this. At work, I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. It's absolutely exhausting. It's not like I skip jobs every 2 or 3 years. At 34, I should be over this by now!!!!!!!!!!! For God's sake. When will the madness end? My psychologist says don't take on my dad's paranoia as my own. That it's more about his fear than mine (and yet he's never been fired, neither was any one in his family). I'm able to do that only in a few situations. Are my anxiety and fear and anger and exhaustion symptoms of PTSD? I plan to talk to my therapist about it but wonder if anyone else had this problem. |
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Fuzzybear, Open Eyes, RoxanneToto
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Skeezyks
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Disreputable Old Troll
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#2
Thanks for sharing this. I myself have not experienced the particular situation you describe nor can I tell you if your anger, fear, anxiety & exhaustion are symptoms of PTSD. That's a job for your psychologist.
In my case I've never been offered any kind of diagnosis although I've been kicking around the mental health system where I live for over 20 years. That said, though, I think I could make a pretty good case for a diagnosis of cPTSD. And anger, fear, anxiety, & exhaustion are experiences with which I have been completely familiar my entire life. I guess the other thing I can say, based on my own personal experience, is that the experiences you have with your parents (especially the difficult ones it seems at least in my case) stay with you for a lifetime to one degree or another. The passage of time may soften the edges a bit. But the memories, as well as the emotional damage remain. Hopefully your talk with your therapist will help you to clarify this in your own mind. Best wishes... |
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Fuzzybear, helloiamjim
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Open Eyes
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
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#3
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helloiamjim
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2020
Location: England
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#4
I’ve had similar incidences of fighting against taking what someone else says as true, if it’s nasty/designed to distress me and I know it isn’t really true - there’s usually still a tiny seed of doubt, so while I can’t speak to the PTSD aspect, I do think I know what you mean about the rest of it.
Have you spoken to your manager about these concerns, not necessarily about your dad but your work performance? They’d be much better placed to tell you how you’re doing than your dad. This is only a suggestion, though, feel free to ignore if you’ve already done it or not sure if it would help. I hope you can find a way forwards, though, it does sound tough. |
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Member
Member Since Oct 2020
Location: Fargo, ND
Posts: 52
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#5
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