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Nowlosingsanity
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Confused Dec 06, 2020 at 09:21 PM
  #1
Hello everyone, I am not sure if this is the right place to discuss this but believe I am experiencing PTSD from childhood sexual trauma that is barely surfacing. I would like to share a disturbing dream I had...I'm trying to look at it with a curious mind and make sense of it so I welcome any opinions or advice...Thank you in advance...

My dream was about my dad, who has passed away for 7 years now. He died of cirrosis of the liver when I was 14. I dreamed that my dad was still alive, but we couldn't find him for some reason. Like he was just lost or something, we were all worried so we searched for him for several weeks. All of the sudden my partner tells me my dad is probably in a certain room in the house. I open the door and my dad is there, laying on the floor...there is trash and clutter all over and he is laying in fluids, I'm not sure what kind. He has a shirt on but no pants and he is naked. Then my husband doesn't explicitely say this, but he alludes to him and my dad having sex, that is why my dad was laying on the floor...?

I'm so confused why I would have such dreams, this is not the first dream like this. I've had several dreams about family or loved ones that are similar and have a weird sexual nature. Its very disturbing to me that I have these unconcious thoughts about my family, does anyone know any techniques that might help?
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Default Dec 09, 2020 at 08:28 AM
  #2
What has been going on in your daily life?
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Nowlosingsanity
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Default Dec 21, 2020 at 11:10 AM
  #3
I have been having a lot of stress and I have been really worried about my family, friends...I've been working on managing my stress through exercise and dietary changes, journaling...it feels like I'm just going crisis to crisis. Its been a hard few months, which is when I started having these dreams.
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Default Dec 21, 2020 at 12:21 PM
  #4
It sounds like your dreams are reflecting your stress and worries that you are experiencing and your mind may be struggling with how to process it. Childhood sexual trauma isn't easy to process because in our childhood we simply don't have an understanding of why this is happening and what it means. Your dream is reflecting your effort to understand what is missing which is why your mind came up with how your father is missing and you are searching for answers.

I have disturbing dreams too and they tend to leave me feeling with unresolve and sometimes I wake up actually tired. I am learning how my dreams are connected to what is challenging me during the day. It's important to have patience with this as you slowly work on whatever the problem is that is surfacing.
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Default Dec 21, 2020 at 01:09 PM
  #5
Open eyes,

Thank you, I think you are really right about that. I definitely always feel that something is/was missing, my dad was emotionally neglectful and I am trying to find answers to that and understand that. I am also dealing with feeling betrayed and neglected by my partner as he just got diagnosed with ASD and cannot connect with me emotionally when I need support. I am trying to come to terms with that and recognize that my relationship with him is a lot like the one I had with my dad...emotionally impoverished...

It is emotionally exhausting and I too wake up feeling like I really want answers but the work is slow...it feels so extreme at the same time, its very slow until I realize something, all of the sudden it hits me and I just feel so lost and like I don't know who I am. Its like "okay, I have problems stemming from childhood, where do I go from here?" haha. I'm just trying to get involved in groups and talk about it with others because I don't want to feel so alone.
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Default Dec 21, 2020 at 03:49 PM
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Quote:
. I am also dealing with feeling betrayed and neglected by my partner as he just got diagnosed with ASD and cannot connect with me emotionally when I need support. I am trying to come to terms with that and recognize that my relationship with him is a lot like the one I had with my dad...emotionally impoverished...
This is important! Good thing your partner got diagnosed so you know it's not you that has the problem. I think you need to reconsider this relationship as you deserve to have someone that can be emotionally supportive with you.
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Default Dec 27, 2020 at 09:53 PM
  #7
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Originally Posted by Nowlosingsanity View Post
Hello everyone, I am not sure if this is the right place to discuss this but believe I am experiencing PTSD from childhood sexual trauma that is barely surfacing. I would like to share a disturbing dream I had...I'm trying to look at it with a curious mind and make sense of it so I welcome any opinions or advice...Thank you in advance...

My dream was about my dad, who has passed away for 7 years now. He died of cirrosis of the liver when I was 14. I dreamed that my dad was still alive, but we couldn't find him for some reason. Like he was just lost or something, we were all worried so we searched for him for several weeks. All of the sudden my partner tells me my dad is probably in a certain room in the house. I open the door and my dad is there, laying on the floor...there is trash and clutter all over and he is laying in fluids, I'm not sure what kind. He has a shirt on but no pants and he is naked. Then my husband doesn't explicitely say this, but he alludes to him and my dad having sex, that is why my dad was laying on the floor...?

I'm so confused why I would have such dreams, this is not the first dream like this. I've had several dreams about family or loved ones that are similar and have a weird sexual nature. Its very disturbing to me that I have these unconcious thoughts about my family, does anyone know any techniques that might help?
Perhaps your under a lot of stress that is sinking into subconsciously.
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