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Default Jan 17, 2021 at 09:57 AM
  #1
October 14, 2020

I was with my boyfriend (we were together over 2 years), a friend of his, and his brother looking for arrowheads. Someone was target practicing and shot my boyfriend in the head, about 3 or 4 feet away from me. He just fell. I stood up in disbelief and yelled for his brother to come over to us. We sat with him and our friend ran and called 911. It felt like forever sitting with him, waiting for help. Knowing there was nothing we could do. I just found out this week that no charges will come to the man that shot him. I'm just looking for others who have been in similar situations. I feel so alone in my experience. I feel like I'm in a dark hole and can't climb out. I miss him so much, and replaying him dying has been a daily battle. I was on medication, but stopped it cold turkey. I am in therapy, but don't find it helpful. I'm just lost. He was my soulmate. He was the only person who could get me out of my own head. He was there to rescue me physically in any situation I had gotten myself into. I just feel lost and alone.
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Default Jan 17, 2021 at 02:51 PM
  #2
Oh that's just horrible!! That isn't something anyone could "just" get over either. This is going to take time for you to slowly accept and find your way to moving forward from. My heart goes out to you, be patient with self because something like this really takes time to slowly accept and recover from.
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Default Feb 05, 2021 at 12:00 PM
  #3
Hello...I'm so sorry you are going through this. My experience with death is not as traumatic as your scenario but it happened with my husband a few months ago. He had a massive heart attack right in my arms. I had to lay him down on the floor as he couldn't stand anymore and on the way down, his body just went limp. I knew he was gone.

Grief is so hard and I don't think people talk enough about it enough. I find that the more I talk, the more healing can take place. I have flashbacks of it all the time. So much so that I am now afraid of leaving my house because I have no control of my emotions. I don't know how people just move on. I hope you have supportive people around you. There is no timeline for us on when it will stop or get better. Grief is a very individual process and we all do it at a different pace. Your post sounds so tragic and I can relate to the waiting for help you went through and it feeling like time froze for me. What was only minutes felt like forever until they arrived.

I wish I had some helpful words for you. I wish you peace and blessings as you try to repair yourself from this tragedy. Keep talking about it, as much as you are comfortable and that will help you begin to heal. I don't know if you have thought about finding any counseling, that may help too.
For now, just....Peace.
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Default Feb 12, 2021 at 08:01 AM
  #4
Thank you for your story. I think any unexpected death is horrifying. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Thank you so much for your words, and just sharing a part of your experience. I hope the healing process is going okay for you.
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Default Feb 12, 2021 at 10:53 AM
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I'm so sorry
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Default Feb 16, 2021 at 05:15 AM
  #6

I'm sorry that you lost a loved one in that way.
I don't think that people do just get over grief I think it is always there but it changes over time. The acuteness of loss, grief and aloneness will change. Elizabeth Kuber Ross wrote a book about the grief cycle that people go through as they grieve a loss not everyone goes through all the stages but she mentions things like anger, despair, crying and disbelief, bargaining and acceptance. Perhaps you experience some of these or perhaps you will in the future. I think that its time for you to be kind to you as you can. Be patient with yourself no one expects you to just get over it. But remember your loved one couldn't have anyone more appropriate to be with them than you and was probably comforted by your presence. The love you both shared you'll take with you and will not be forgotten as you will remember him.
take care.
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