advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
clydeblack
Member
 
clydeblack's Avatar
clydeblack Spread that bread
 
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: France
Posts: 227
5 yr Member
249 hugs
given
Heart Jun 07, 2021 at 02:40 PM
  #1
Found out I likely have CPTSD and not bipolar which explains so much.

Doesn't it feel like endless suffering?

I am afraid of depending too much on other people, one person in particular, while also being so afraid of them going away. It's pain all the time.

I try to do my work - which is my passion. Had to quit day job. I have a bag packed in case of hospitalization. I'm afraid of hurting myself everyday but I can't have that person there for me every second or ask them to do that.

clydeblack is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Job 30 26, Open Eyes

advertisement
clydeblack
Member
 
clydeblack's Avatar
clydeblack Spread that bread
 
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: France
Posts: 227
5 yr Member
249 hugs
given
Default Jun 07, 2021 at 02:42 PM
  #2
Also I immediately switch from thinking people are good to terrible and out to hurt me. It's exhausting, especially if that is not their intention.
clydeblack is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Job 30 26
leomama
Grand Magnate
 
leomama's Avatar
leomama has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 4,703
10 yr Member
172 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 07, 2021 at 03:13 PM
  #3
Are you making all your choices in line with your doctor?
leomama is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
clydeblack
Member
 
clydeblack's Avatar
clydeblack Spread that bread
 
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: France
Posts: 227
5 yr Member
249 hugs
given
Default Jun 08, 2021 at 11:42 AM
  #4
Yes, I am
clydeblack is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
modestlychee6463
Veteran Member
modestlychee6463 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2021
Location: MA: Stanberry, Missouri
Posts: 513
3 yr Member
62 hugs
given
Default Jul 17, 2021 at 12:52 PM
  #5
I agree with you. It seems like the suffering never ends when I think of the times I was made fun of for my interests and for my speech and mannerisms and times I was called selfish and once being made to apologize. Those memories have burned into my brain, and there's hardly any escape at all. I feel like it'll stick with me as long as I'm alive. It NEVER really ends EVER. It seems like I'll never heal. I don't know why I feel that way. My gloominess about all this is beginning to set in now that I'm over forty. When you realize that you can't make it all better and it doesn't get better.
modestlychee6463 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
modestlychee6463
Veteran Member
modestlychee6463 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2021
Location: MA: Stanberry, Missouri
Posts: 513
3 yr Member
62 hugs
given
Default Jul 17, 2021 at 12:58 PM
  #6
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be my child self and not have to relive those memories over and over and over again on repeat.
modestlychee6463 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:59 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.