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rupp7015
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Member Since: Apr 2020
Location: United States
Posts: 3
3 yr Member
Default Jul 05, 2021 at 04:21 AM
  #1
I recently had an evaluation done for ADHD. Since I mentioned a traumatic event during the evaluation and wouldn't go into any more detail about it, they recommended talking to a therapist to consider a trauma diagnosis. I do agree, and I know this is one of the primary topics that need to be dealt with in therapy. It's definitely something that needs to be addressed whether I like it or not.

Ironically, it also happens to be the exact reason why I've always avoided therapy so I wouldn't have to talk about that stuff. It's partly for the obvious reason of it being uncomfortable and anxiety-inducing. I also avoid ever telling anybody about exactly what it was that happened because there's a part of me that expects it to be invalidated. It's not really the typical story that you tend to hear about when people talk about trauma, like child abuse, sexual assault, combat/military experiences, very serious accidents and natural disasters, etc. You know, the kinds of situations that are fairly obviously traumatic. I know that it was traumatic, because otherwise I wouldn't have experienced the symptoms that I did as a kid and the symptoms that I do now. In spite of that, I still fear that I'll tell someone and they'll say "That's not really that bad, why would you be that stuck on it?" I think it's partly because it's not something anybody has ever recognized as traumatic in my life. My parents have always ignored it and I think that if I were to express to them how much it actually bothers me, they would probably be surprised.

The whole point of this post is just to put it out there and finally hear some responses to it, because the fact that I haven't done that more than a couple times in my lifetime is a big motivation for avoiding the topic. I don't actually remember what happened myself, so I'm not sure how old I was, but I think I was 4 years old when I was climbing up onto a countertop, slipped off the chair I was climbing on, and hit my head off the edge of the counter. When I got stitches, "they," whoever they were, restrained me. All in all, the thing that's stuck with me from the entire experience was being restrained. I don't really have issues with medical stuff in general, so I'm perfectly fine with shots, having my blood taken, etc. But for my entire life, as far back as I can remember, the whole issue of restraint, regardless of what situation it occurs in, has been a major fixation and trigger.

For whatever reason, it's something that isn't ever talked about or truly recognized as a potential source of long-lasting trauma (i.e. children being restrained during medical procedures). I'm not exactly sure why that is. It also isn't something that I've really seen talked about in terms of other people experiencing long-lasting issues because of it, so I very much feel alone. I feel like typically you can find information about a particular mental health issue or go on forums and see other people talking about similar things, but this is one thing in particular that I've found scant information about. It's one of the few things mental health wise that I do feel weird for because it just feels like no one looks at it the same way I do.

That's all I wanted to say. I just wanted to put all of that out there because I've thought it for years and haven't told anyone, so I figured starting out anonymously might be the way to go.
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