What helps you feel safe?

I have been living with constant impending doom, dread of the future, hyper-vigilance, and in survival mode for the past 20 years and counting.

I hace tried many different medications and treatments but nothing helps.

What are some suggestions, tips, and tools others use to help you feel safe and peace?

I have no one for support either and no funds to seek help.

Thank you.

@darkfeary I am sorry you have struggled so for so long. I am not sure what to suggest to you but let me offer what comes to mind.

When I reach an impossible situation that I cannot change I remember this:

Quote:

“If the problem can be solved why worry? If the problem cannot be solved worrying will do you no good.” ― Shantideva

My dad was a very down to earth person. He would tell me when I would worry about things "Something's going to get you." I cannot change death, I just do not know when it will happen.

I get a lot of support online at this site. It helps me to reach out to people that understand my situation because they suffer from things I suffer from. It is better to have online friends to support you than going without.

You might want to tell a little more about your life and what might interest you to inspire you to spend time doing it. Starting a daily routine can help. Making or changing my sheets, cleaning up my room or the kitchen, doing the dishes, doing laundry can help start up the engine of change.

Hope you get the support you are looking for.
CANDC

[If you want me to see your reply to this post please include @CANDC in your message - not in requoting my message]

I’m in the same boat. The first step is creating a safe environment. Once you get to sleeping and out of survival mode you might sleep for like a month straight. I just got out of survival mode and I’m literally sleeping from 8pm-6am with naps when I find a warm safe place for it.

Once you get through the sleeping phase you can do some real work. Look up Pete Walkers book and The Body Keeps the Score. Both about trauma. There are some workbooks on Amazon that go with them too if you’d like. Much cheaper and better than therapy with some asshat.

my main one is to do childlike stuff

if there is a cartoon on, or I can read a children's story, then I'm good. even a few verses of the wheels on the bus makes me smile

I also like listening to the radio. even if it's boring and it doesn't keep my attention, it's background noise and that helps

I find that it's worse at night. lesser distractions. I can't count the number of times where I've been up at night thinking about my abuse for hours on end.

I truly appreciate the responses.

I wish that I had proper support instead of being forced to live with my toxic mother bc I lost my drivers license for the past three years. I just got fired too so no health insurance or income. I feel like I have been getting signs to end my life from “higher powers”. Nothing has worked and nothing improves for the past 20 years.

I am being punished lifelong for unintentionally choosing abusers who destroyed me and my life forever.

Good post (especially re the books and therapy with some asshat not being preferable..)