I hate my biological mother, I wish I had a REAL mother

To be specific, I was stuck in a car trip with my mom and her cousin while on our way to the mall. I love shopping, but I hate shopping for clothes so I tend to go alone. I was in the back seat.

My mom is the type of person that loves to humiliate people and then brag about it to others.

In the car I was listening to my music when my mom was yapping at the top of her voice and I was getting very sick of it. The recent conversation was when she was bragging about how she made an idiot out of me by asking how much money I had. According to her, I said “around thirty to forty dollars”, then she proceeded to make me count the money which I wounded up with only eleven dollars. She then asked me in a mocking tone “I thought you said you had about thirty dollars”. I told her it was the last time I checked. Deep down, I was furious and humiliated. I was always the butt of the jokes to her.

When she asked me a question, I replied to her in a deadpan tone, which she replied to me “why are you being so hateful?”. I said to her in a genuinely angry voice “because I am surrounded by a bunch of gossip girls!”. Mom just laughed at me and mumbled to her cousin “did you hear what she said?”.

That did it! The moment she got out of the car to get gas, I pulled my phone and called dad. Then I told him everything what happened. The moment she got back in the car (she was snooping like any annoying sibling would do), she asked me in a smug tone “what kind of information did you get this time?”. I replied “what are you talking about?”. She asked the same question again, in an even more smug tone. I told her “can’t you just mind your own business?”. She said “no! I cannot! I have to know everything! That’s how I am!”.

I called her out “that’s your problem! You’re always spewing out garbage to your little friends about people you don’t like, yet you want to be involved in every little conversation I have with someone else that you shouldn’t be involved in in the first place! And besides, you’re acting crazy!”. Mom replied “we weren’t talking garbage about anyone! We’re just TALKING! And besides, YOU’RE the one who’s always spewing out everything! And also, all the people who says I’m crazy is even more crazier to begin with!”. I replied sarcastically “and who do suppose I got THAT from, huh?! I don’t know, maybe YOU?!”. Mom replied angrily “well you’re making a big deal out of things that don’t amount to nothing!”.

That does it! I’m calling dad again, this time right in front of her face to see how she likes it! I try explaining to dad again about what’s going on now, and I can see mom nudging her cousin’s arm, snickering. “You see what she’s doing?!” I told dad. “(My name), you need to calm down” he replied. I kept trying to explain to him about my experience and I can still hear her blurting to her cousin over how I’m always telling lies. “Do you hear that?” I told dad. “She thinks I’m always lying every time I say something about her she doesn’t like! EVERY TIME!”

“That’s enough, (my name)! Stop trying to ruin your own weekend!” dad said. “No, dad, I want you to listen,” I said. “I’m telling you, dad. My mom is crazy and all her friends are a bunch of gossip girls!”

Mom screams at me at the top of her voice “STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!! LEAVE (her cousin’s name) OUT OF THIS!!! IT’S HER BIRTHDAY!!!. I shouted back “no! It’s you who is the problem! And you shouldn’t be acting that way to (her cousin’s name) on her own birthday! You’re always trying to pull others to your side to make people you don’t like look bad! You don’t even let her have an individual thought of her own! Isn’t that right, (her cousin’s name)?”.

Unfortunately her cousin didn’t say a word. She just sat in silence. I felt sorry for her. She was letting my mom indoctrinate her into thinking I’m the problem. Dad started yelling at me on the phone “I am sick and tired of you calling me every time you have a problem! Now you better calm yourself down, because I don’t want to hear this anymore!”. Then he hung up on me.

On the rest of the way down, I cried in silence. More and more I start to think I don’t have a mom and that I have a younger sister instead! Because no real mother should act the way she does. In response, I bought me a Vodou doll which supposedly is a resemblance to a workplace boss. Upon arriving to the checkout and paying for it, I told the cashier “I wish they made one with a bad parent or spouse”, in which he chuckled in agreement.

I know I’m just holding a grudge against my mother and that I’m being a hypocrite for talking to other people about my problems, but what can I say? When you have blood relations to someone who gossips, it eventually runs in the family. Also my mother has done worse before, as far as if I ever call her out enough (she sleeps this as backtalking) and attempting to expose me on phone calls (one time as I was having a phone call with my dad, she took my phone, put it on speaker and said to me “why don’t you show him how you really act?”, thinking she can lure him to her side).

I wonder how long it’s going to take until dad finally says to mom “enough is enough!” and divorces her ***. I’ve lived away from her for three years now, and being with her at times like this makes me slip into insanity. The frequent anger, stress, and misery is still lingering with me after years of putting up with that bs and my relationship with her has gotten worse since I learned to stand up for myself.

For a long time I wished I had a real mother who actually cares for me, respects me for who I am, and wouldn’t say horrible things about me just for spite. But that’s a very unlikely scenario, given the fact that millions of homes in the world are very abusive and dangerous. My heart goes out to all the people who had to put up with this, dead and alive.

P.S.

Something off topic:

I Hate You! You'''re The Worst Mommy! | Bad parenting quotes, Parenting quotes, You'''re the worst

No, shut the f*** up! This is not my problem to begin with! Don’t put words in my mouth, Pinterest!