What am I supposed to say???

Hi everyone!
Let's try this again. I just tried posting and for some reason it didn't work. So here I go again.
I went shopping with my mom today. Just a little information on this. I told my mom last week about my PTSD and my flashbacks and some other stuff. She asked if I was having flashbacks about her? I said yes and told her a little about them and who they were about. I didn't want to go into great detail with her for her sake. But anyways, she said ok and said she was ok with that. I knew she had many questions and wasn't really ok with it, but didn't want to get in to it with her. That usually what happens when we talk about my mental health.
So while driving I asked what she wanted for her Birthday. She said nothing. A few minutes later, she said she wants me to stop having flashbacks about her. I told her I was very sorry and that I couldn't at least I don't know if you can stop having them until they are dealt with. She continued saying she felt guilty for a long time about what happened after my parents split. I said I understand that there is nothing she can do to take it back. Anyways, while talked she told me she had been thinking about what I told her last week about the flashbacks and how bad she felt because they were about her. I thought, "There you go again, making it all about you". That's usually what it all comes down to. Anyways, that's another subject for another day when I want to get into that.
I am just wondering if anyone has had this same problem or anyone with feedback as to what I am supposed to say. I really feel guilty about even telling her last week. Maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut like I was tought.
Take care and thanks for listening.

Hi jen29,

Tough place to be in. Sorry your in that spot.

Sounds like your mom is manipulating the situation by turning the tables on you and making you feel guilty for her wrongdoings.

It makes sense if you think about how abusers etc spend years trying to justify their behavior. It's the denial and blame game.

Maybe you should just tell her straight out that you understand she feels bad so "you can only imagine how bad I feel."

Sounds like she was traumatized by the situation /split up also?
If you can maintain or develop a decent relationship, that would be beneficial--for both of you. You want her to understand you; you are having trouble understanding her. It could be that way for her, too, and she adds the guilt of having caused some of your angst. It might be good for the two of you to share some therapy sessions, and discuss some of what you shared above.

Take care.

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