Intrusive memory flashes

Last night, as I was trying to sleep, my mind was racing. It was like being in a roomful of tv screens all flashing up memories from my life. One memory would bring up another and another... but it wasn't just one at a time... it was about 100 different things constantly shifting all over, mostly memories of my childhood. I could not make it stop. Even my insomnia drugs did not slow it down.

And it continued until I could feel the shag carpet under my feet and smell the stale smell unique to my parents' house.

Usually when I flashback, it is one memory. But this was thousands of memories, just moments, like me playing on the stairs by myself or digging in the sandbox or lying on the livingroom floor staring at the ceiling and hearing the theme from General Hospital come on the tv.

This has happened before... actually it is quite frequent, but this is the first time that it has taken total control of my head.

I triggered over the weekend. And I am still struggling with the overload of cortisol from that.

Am I just weird, or does everyone experience this, or is it my ptsd that is messing with my head again?

Obsidian

I start with physical flashback of being cold and freezing and wet and buggy triggered from environment (a look or words or tone of voice or location) then so many thoughts and monologues and dialogues in my head I have to shut down mentally - but it is so much harder to escape now after one year into therapy with the first T most of me can trust.

It's PTSD. ah nasty cortisol... your getting overwhelmed, take time now before it makes you..

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Thanks... I am still reeling from the weekend. And I am trying to find a PTSD therapist, but no one is returning my calls. *sigh*

I think I am going to get out of the house today and spoil my girls.