Over this feeling...

So its been 3 months since my baby girl was birthed so traumatically. Ripped from my body because my body was failing us both.

Miss A is still in hospital and until she stops her Brady and destats she won't be home.

I'm not coping. Driving over an hour to get to the hospital to see her, staying all day. It's way draining.

I got diagnosed with PTSD after 6 weeks of being a mum. It's been a rough road and I cry every night.

I've recently started drowning my thoughts with either temazepam or alcohol. I can't do this much longer ..

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I know how your feeling we have had to deal with this a few times within our family alcohol is not the answer but I know how easy it is to turn to it when your in need please if you want to chat you can message me anytime xx

Just an update.

After 92 days of miss a being in hospital, we have her home.

She is now 8 months old. Nearly 6 months adjusted and doing reasonably well.

So was I until I recieved my medical records.

Wow. Seeing this post and comparing to now...

Here's another update.
Went to therapy, failed.
Tried meds, failed.

I am still managing pnd, guilt and really severe anxiety and PTSD.

My health has deteriorated. My blood pressure and heart rate going all over the place. They are thinking now it could be from the severe pet I had in my pregnancy that's done irreversible damage. They did warn me about that.

Anyway my Bp meds are supposed to help with anxiety. They are not tho. Atenolol sucks!

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Hmmm meds ontop of meds just been put on an antidepressant again.

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I spend a year after my third child was born with what I now know was PPD. I even went to the dr but got no treatment or diagnosis.
I felt like I was dragging myself through wet concrete every day just to get the basic things done. My kids were 4 and 2 when the youngest was born. She was born with a congenital cataract in her right eye. It's was a very stressful time.
There is a saying " I would have a mental breakdown but I don't have time" that's what I remember of that time, I just keep doing because the kids needed me to. I don't know how I got through and came out the other side with a marriage and three kids intact.
I hope you can get the treatment you need to help get yourself through this, you have had it very rough with a traumatic delivery and issues with the health of your little one.
Try not to despair there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Thank you lillybet I'm trying but it seems things are too hard at the moment.

I ended up having a breakdown.
My marriage is hanging by a thread due to my husbands aggression and anger issues.
He said something the other night which made me really hate the person I've become, and he isn't the same person I fell in love with.

The dr has recommended temazepam as I'm not sleeping and I cry at the drop of a hat at the moment.

I can't wait till I can pull myself out of this rut!

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I feel for you so much and have been through a similar situation with the birth of my middle child. I do know that self medicating isn't helpful, only dangerous. It's a very rough road and no one but a mother can ever understand what you are going through. I finally had family and friends tell me I needed to get professional help and that was the best thing I ever did, a couple of weeks after starting medication and talking to a therapist I was able to slowly handle my sons situation. This made me stronger for myself and mainly for my son. If I wasn't coping then I couldn't be strong for him. My son is now 15, happy and healthy and I pray for your daughter to be the same. But you really need to take care of yourself too so you can be strong for your baby!

Thanks. She's now nearly 2.5 yrs old and it's still affecting me so bad.

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i'm a father with what i believe to be ppd. my first baby was born with congenital heart condition. She will be a year old in 6 weeks. even though she had her heart surgery last month and is doing great, i'm still struggling with my depression. I've been struggling with depression for 10 years but it usually doesnt last more than a few months, but ever since my baby was born my depression has been pretty constant.

Just seen the gp and put on 50 mg pristiq. Took first tablet and feeling terrible

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Oh I hate pristiq
Was told to keep an eye on my blood pressure and if it got over a certain point to stop taking the pristiq (if in first week) as it will harm my blood pressure too much(already on meds for that)

We'll took my blood pressure today and tonight. Suffice to say, won't be allowed to touch another tablet of pristiq.

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I've been crying non stop for hours. I am over feeling this way. I wish I could flick a switch and get over it like everyone else is telling me

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Feeling awful

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I am so sorry you are still struggling. Please get some help. You are not alone. You are important and are priceless. I am struggling too with postpartum stuff and my baby is completely healthy and no birthing problems, so I'm so sorry you've had so much more to deal with. They say they give the hardest battles to the strongest soldiers. That's why you have these challenges. To overcome them and become a better person. Have you ever seen a psychiatrist? They are so much better than a general practitioner for prescribing meds. They went to med school too, but specialize in mental health. I did not get any decent help with feeling better about my major depressive disorder and anxiety until I saw a psychiatrist. Get in to one ASAP. Find a therapist and get in ASAP. You deserve happiness and you deserve to enjoy your children without being so sad. I promise things can get better. I am trying to make things better for myself and it's hard. So know you are not alone. Anything worth doing is not easy.

And things keep getting worse. The last few days have been a blur. My (now ex) husband has been cheating on me for the last 7 years on and off completely shattered.



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A friend of mine is going through the exact same thing! 7 years also! She is devastated! I am praying for you dear! We are here for you!

Thank goodness I am due to see a psych in a few days!
I can't handle this all on my own.

I had a couple of breakdowns since my last post. Hubby and I are still trying to work around things but it's very rocky.
He has severe anger issues and I'm stuck in this bloody rut

They tried me on a few different antidepressants. None of which work so I'm back to crying myself to sleep every night as well as constant panic attacks and barely being able to focus or sleep!

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And attempting to act like I'm okay around everyone, just so I don't hurt their feelings...

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Psych tomorrow thank god! Really not coping

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I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all of this. Depression can feel like a corkscrew that never ends. But it can end and there can be relief. I hope seeing someone was helpful.
I had a traumatic birth experience and it shattered my world. Things do get better somehow. You can pm me anytime. PTSD and hormones and depression is more than anyone should have to handle alone.

So I had my psychologist appt and it went ok. I broke down twice.

Dealing with multiple issues on top of the birth trauma.

My marriage falling apart due to hubby cheating, prem baby with special needs and huge anxiety issues.

Therapist wondered how I wasn't coping on meds but I can't tolerate meds at all. It sucks. So to help the insomnia I'm on a sleeping tablet which helps short term.

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It's amazing checking back on this post. I'm no where near fixed.

Life is a mess. How long can one stay this way for?