Untreated postnatal depression

Hi there.

I have 2 daughters aged 6 & 4.5 years old!
After my eldest was born about 9 months on I realised that I wasnt behaving like my normal self.
I went to the doctors & found out that I was pregnant again!
I put all the low feelings down to racing pregnancy hormones.
After my second daughter was born things got gradually worse but still i did not seek medical help I wanted to prove that I wasnt depressed & I could bring myself round out of this.

Its now 5 years on and my brain is in such a complete mess I am unable to make my own decisions or think for myself. I dont watch tv and havent done for about 4 years. I dont want to communicate with anyone outside my immediat family and if I do its via txt or email. I make untold excuses to my parents as to why I am unable to speak directly via the phone & I avoid being around people in general.
I dont go out very often as recent events make me think that everytime I am away from my husband something bad is going to happen, yet when my husband tells me things to watch out for with people I go and do exactly what I have been told to avoid and I keep these things to myself and lie to cover any wrongs I have done.

I have always thought of myself to be a very loyal person in a relationship, but recently I had an affair with my husbands friend only to find out that out so-called friend had started this affair with me in order to try and rob my husband of his inheritance!!!

My brain appears to no longer be working in common sense respects.

Is it possible that all these out of character behavior is a result of me being extremely depressed!

When people are depressed in general do they act thoughtlessly & recklessly towards the people who are s'posed to be the closest to them.

I just cant work myself out any more!

Please help me if you can

Hi, nutgirl! We are here to support you and to encourage you--and to offer advice, but we can't take the place of a mental-health professional, and I do believe you need to get professional help. As you see, sometimes we reach the point where we just can't pull ourselves back together.

It is possible that some of your behavior is due to depression, but we aren't able to diagnose here. That would be something also to address with a professional.

That said, we are here to try to help the best we can. What can we do to help?

Hi thanks for your reply!
I did guess you would say about going to see a doctor!
I am in fix really because i make an appointment then forget it or
Cancel and re book, not sure why as I know its the only way i will find out
for certain!
I s'pose it will be the FINAL step to admitting there is a problem!
If depression of any sort goes untreated for a long period of time is it possible to
progess into other conditions?
I have made an appointment today at the gp's but earliest apointment is a week on thursday!
Are there other places you can seek relevant medical help with out having to be referred by a gp?

I got a great referral from my kids pediatrician, if you would feel more comfortable. They're supposed to look out for moms with ppd and usually have some names.

My friend went through a lot of the same things you are describing after her 2nd daughter was born. (The part about being afraid something bad would happen if she left is almost word for word).
She saw a doctor and was diagnosed with anxiety DO. Took Effexor for about a year and then weaned off of it and just relied on psychotherapy and three years later she is doing great!!!
When I decided I needed to get help (I started with psychotherapy) I had to wait a week for my appt too, and it seemed like forever. If you are afraid you will forget the appt, can you have your husband or a friend call you the morning of and remind you? I have this problem too, I miss appts all the time. Some people say setting an alarm on their phone helps. Another girl told me if you have an iphone you can take a screen shot of the appt reminder and set it as your wallpaper so you see it every time you pick up your phone (my phone doesn't do that).

I might go this route if it is taking too long to get an appt with your MD. Also, be wary of any primary care physician who suggests that they can treat your depression themselves and that you don't need a referral. I've been through that before and ended up on such a high dose of benzo's I couldn't function