baby?

just coming here for advice from mothers.....

so i'm 21. i have BPD and major depressive disorder. i have a stable bf of a year and a half, we live together, have a dog together, etc. We're planning on getting married in a few years.
but all of a sudden, i have this idea of having a baby.
i've always loved babies, and now that i'm in my 20s my biological clock is going NUTS.
to make matters worse, i'm on the pill. and i keep forgetting to take it. i've been SO forgetful lately with my depression and all sorts of med changes. I put it next to my regular pills but i just forget sometimes. and everyone knows you have to take the pill consistently for it to work.
anyways, we had unprotected sex last night. and i just realized that it was probably during my ovulation.
rationally, i know this is an awful idea. i'm in such a terrible place emotionally, i can barely take care of myself. but i honestly feel like i have nothing to live for, and a baby would give me reason to live, get up in the morning and be a part of society. not to mention unconditional love, which is amazing.

is it too late for the morning after pill. you are romanticizing motherhood. a baby also takes, takes, takes and never gives......are you ready for that....being up all night, trying to calm a screaming infant when you have no idea what it wants? it is an 18 year commitment. you have many years ahead of you to make this decision of having a child. you have to be really together to take care of a child, and you admit, you can barely take care of yourself. a child doesn't offer unconditional love. it has to be taught it. do you know how to teach it? I am sorry to be harsh here but many people think a child is the solution to their problems and bring a child into the world unprepared and ill equipped. this leads to disastrous consequences. to give a child all the love and nurturing required you have to be in a very good place in life, financially, emotionally, mentally. don't you want to give your child the best? it should not be about what a child can give you, but about what you can give a child. this is a huge commitment. please think about what you are doing before you do it. take care..........

Ho-Kay. You are no doubt a lovely and caring young woman, and it is of course natural to want a child, especially since you have a stable relationship. Of course you do. But ...

This is bigger than you and your loneliness. It is a person you are considering here. And, um ... your boyfriend has a right to make this decision With You because it is one that will change His Life Forever too. It is not your call alone.

Have you considered babysitting, volunteering to rock the babies at the hospital, work in a homeless shelter for young mother's who would welcome another pair of hands as they juggle the endless responsibility of caring for their child?
Treasure that wonderful nesting feeling and store it away someplace safe so you can take it out from time to time and visit with it. Read and study what it is Really like to be in charge of someone else's life. You may be almost ready for this ...make no mistake...Life Altering decision.

But don't bring a person into the world until you and your boyfriend ~ together ~ make this choice.

I wish you only the very best as you face some really big decisions.