Depressed and Lost

I’m looking for some support and advice for my PPD.

My fiancé ended his life during my pregnancy, leaving all of us blindsided. I’ve been able to find a suicide support group in my area and it has been helpful.

The resources for PPD have been harder to find. I’ve been to several counselors and psychiatrists, and have been prescribed Xanax, Paxil, and Zoloft. All of them gave me horrible side effects which made me feel even worse. My psychiatrist wouldn’t say much when I went to my visits, and it takes at least a month to be seen. I know there are PPD groups, but they are during my work hours.

My anger has been bad. I get frustrated very easily, and I frequently feel like I do not want my daughter. My only sense of liberation and happiness comes when I am at work or away from her. She’s a very good baby, but I feel like I have way too much on my plate, let alone being a single parent who can’t just drop her off with her dad on a whim. I sometimes leave her with family members for a break, but I dread picking her up. I miss my independence and carefree lifestyle, especially because I never, ever wanted children.

I’ve resumed my exercise regimen in hope that it will alleviate my anger and sadness. I’ve been having intrusive thoughts, and I have been feeling worse lately. I just don’t know what to do. I guess I understand now why he chose to end his life.

Any tips or feedback is much appreciated.

Hello LadyJay: My condolences on your loss. I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. Hopefully coming here to PC can be of some comfort & support.

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

I'm so sorry this happened to you..

Appreciate the hugs and welcomes, but I would love to hear any tips or success stories for those dealing with depression. What works? Anything to avoid?

I'm sorry you're feeling like this. I think it's good with the exercise regimen, I do that too, and it really helps, if only for a short while.

That's such a sad story, my heart goes out to you and your daughter. I definitely agree with exercise, do it even when you don't want to as I find it always makes you feel a bit better.

You also need connections and support, but the good news is as a Mum there are lots of options to you. There are lots of mother and baby groups, some good and some bad but try a few to find the people you most like and gel with. There will definitely be some other single parents there, who can relate to your situation even if not how you got there.

What about speaking to your Doctor? As a mother your health is crucial, so I would hope your Dr would do all they can to help you to get better for both you and your baby's sake.

It's great that you are still working and it's great that your daughter is an easy going baby, I bet she will become the most important person you've ever met. Good luck