Postpartum depression after 18 months

Hi everyone
I'm new to this forum, and I need some advice about my feelings, I'm so scared and depression,we were trying to conceive for about 7 years and finally I become pregnant,we were so happy and I give birth to a beautiful baby Girl,I loved her so much we were so sensitive about her,I was enjoying my life, then suddenly I become depressed and have panic attacks and started to havecintrusive thoughts that you don't love your child, this thought is making me so depressed and started to have no feelings for my baby Girl, I feel no love for her, my mind is constantly telling me that dont care about her,dont stop her if she is touching something dangerous, I'm so depressed that I'm actually like this, I don't care about my baby Girl, her face is giving me anxiety, I'm taking medicines ( quetiapine and lamictal ) for about 2 weeks , my panic attacks slow down but my thoughts are hurting me so much, I don't want to be like this, I want to be my old self again , I want to love her more then anything but my thoughts are hurting me, I'm so scared if these thoughts are real me, I want to be my old self again, plz if anyone of you had same experience and became fine plz share with me and tell me if this is postpartum depression . Plz someone help me.

Hello Samnis: I'm sorry you are having this distressing experience. Since this is your first post, here on PC, welcome to PsychCentral. I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

To be honest, I don't really know a lot about this. (I'm not a mental health professional.) However there are a couple of thoughts I can share. You mentioned you've been taking a couple of psych med's now for about 2 weeks. This is not a lot of time within which to know if the particular med's you're taking, at the dosages you've been prescribed, are going to work for you. It can take a while to "get it right", so to speak. My personal non-professional opinion would be you'd probably need to give it at least 4 to 6 weeks. (But certainly it may make sense to be back in touch with your prescribing physician sooner than that if for no other reason than to let them know you're still struggling.) Also, you didn't mention what type of physician you're receiving the prescriptions for these med's from. I think the general consensus of opinion is that, when it comes to psych med's, it's really best to be seeing a psychiatrist.

The other consideration here, from my personal perspective, is that you didn't mention anything with regard to seeing a mental health therapist. I hope you are doing so. Psych med's are fine. Many people take them... some for a short time... some for years. But they're not the answer in-&-of themselves, in my opinion. It's vitally important that you have someone you can talk with, at length & in depth, regarding what you are experiencing. (It can take a few tries to find the right therapist for you. Not every therapist works well with every client.) But finding one you feel comfortable with would, it seems to me, be crucial.

Family therapist, Kati Morton, has a couple of videos on her YouTube channel on the subject of postpartum depression. Here are links to those videos:





Also... here's a link to an article, from PsychCentral's archives, by our host Dr. John Grohol, Psy.D. on the subject of post partum depression. In this article, Dr. Grohol also provides links to a number of other articles on the subject:

https://psychcentral.com/disorders/p...um-depression/

I wish you & your family all the best...

I am a mother of two. My first is 4 and second is just over 2. I am still dealing with PPD as well. The intrusive thoughts are difficulty frightening! The harm thoughts, about myself and others are heartbreaking. Remember, those thoughts do not reflect who you are as a person or mother. It is the Illness. Depression is a liar. You are good enough!!

I have been in that dark place and, I wish I could take you away from there. Through therapy and medication, I have improved. Been 10 months since a hospitalization. I attend a DBT group which has helped tremendously. Yes, there is hope! Wish you the best!