[SadlyEverAfter]

My Sanity score was 152 and it says that I could have potential problems with many issues...
General Coping 71
Life Events 63
Depression 56
Anxiety 86
Phobias 92
Self-Esteem 42
Eating Disorders 45
Schizophrenia 10
Dissociation 67
Mania 65
Sexual Issues 13
Relationship Issues 25
Alcohol 0
Drugs 0
Physical Issues 17
Smoking Issues 63
Gambling Issues 0
Technology Issues 69
Obsessions/Compulsions 69
Posttraumatic Stress 92
Borderline Traits 67

My life has pretty much fallen apart in these last nearly two years and I really don't know what to do, I am in therapy but it doesn't seem to be helping and my Therapist isn't diagnosing me with anything... she isn't quite a therapist though, I think she is just a clinical social worker, not sure... either way her credentials might as well be written in crayon!
Currently she suspects that it is Severe Anxiety with a Panic Disorder, complicated by Agoraphobia and a Dissociative Disorder... but she can diagnose me officially that is just her suspicion.
All I know is life has become HIGHLY unmanageable and my functioning has went WAY down!
It all started with memory loss, lapses in time, cloudy thinking, bizarre de ja vu sensations and impaired judgement in the Summer of 2009 which was followed by an EXTREME shift in my character right around that time when I began lying and shoplifting and staying out all night and half the time I'd wake up with nothing but vague, fuzzy recollections of these actions to point where I wasn't even sure they really happened or how I'd gotten home...
If I didn't know any better I'd swear I'd been being drugged because that was SO not like me and I could hardly recall any of it. The memories that did come back would be foggy and unnerving because it was difficult to believe but at the same time I was wrapped in this haze and could hardly get through the day without realizing two hours had passed and I didn't know where they went.
I was babysitting for my Sister at that time and I'd be all alone with the two boys the majority of the time. Sometimes I'd snap out of it in the exact same spot I was in two hours ago... just leaned against the wall staring blankly at my Laptop screen but not reading it, not using it... nothing... just leaned against the wall and I'd realize time had passed but where was I?
My first thought was always "Where are the boys!?"
I'd leap to my feet and typically find the little one playing in his room while a fuzzy and foggy memory of granting permission for the eldest to leave would float back to me... I'd recall VERY vaguely telling him he could go somewhere but I'd COMPLETELY forgotten where he said he was going and when he said he'd be back... this and several similar instances happened on multiple occasions and I had NO idea what was going on with me...

To this day I still have problems with that but it's not nearly as noticeable because I am in charge of nothing, I work no where and no one is depending on me right now... so if I zone out... or disappear or lose time... there is no harm done. Now it is just days when people swear I've done something/said something where I cant recall it at all that bother me deeply.
Just a few weeks ago was a great example. My Brother had asked me for a hug (I live with my family due to the issues I am having currently) and I had told him I was busy.... I was speaking to my Father, I think... but I am not entirely certain. Minutes later, it couldn't have been... IN MY mind... more than five minutes later... he had began to walk passed me and I put my arms around him and gave him a hug...

I said "There is that hug you were asking for." and he looks at me puzzled and he goes... "But I already hugged you. Just like... a few minutes ago... remember, when I walked passed you the first time?" and I was shocked... "Say what? You didn't just hug me... I don't remember that or you walking by me before at all!" and my Parents were in the room and all three of them just stared at me like they were wondering if I was okay... They both seen it and knew it... but that time was Gone for me... I blocked out a hug?
What the heck for!?

MY problem is I just don't know if this is mental or physical... is there something mentally wrong with my mind or physically wrong with my brain?
Any suggestions? Questions? Comments? Advice? I'd love it! Thanks!

P.S. Once or twice I have had what could be considered "hallucinations" ...
In December/January of 2009 I began having strange things happening, tingling, burning sensations, cold water dipping on my head that didn't exist but felt So Real I had to touch my head to feel for liquid and look up at the ceiling to check for a leak... neither of which were present.
And a time where I was outside my body as what appeared to be a blue tadpole floating to my right and above me... it was like being outside myself looking at me... looking back at myself. It was weird. It had happened after I was looking in the mirror, fixing my hair and I seen my pupils get bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller repeatedly and it scared me so I turned out and out popped this "Imaginary" ? Tadpole ... that felt like it and my body were both me... it was just weird.

The last nearly two years have been a roller coaster of nearly anything you can imagine including a plague of depression off and on, minor brief moments of unexplainable elation but none of those qualify for the time periods of being bi-polar, extreme anxiety, severe panic, health issues, slight paranoia and almost daily moments of freaking out....

Any help?

[Skully]

Maybe take your results to your pdoc and see what he/she has to say. Also if you are in therapy you could use the points as a therapy session.

[SadlyEverAfter]

Thank you Skully,
I see a CSW weekly because she is free for me, I have no more or insurance and she gives her notes to a psychiatrist who sees me once every two months for roughly 15 minutes to a half hour... he bases all his diagnoses off of her notes...
In my personal opinion this is not a very reliable way to do things... clearly the CSW is only informed and trained so much and I dislike the idea that it feels like my future is in the hands of an amateur.
~Sadly

[Fox]

Sadly please remember no matter what label you receive you are not your dx. You are you and a wonderful you at that. I think it'd be good to share what you shared with us with your CSW. She may be an amateur but I'm sure she only wants the best for you and her notes are bound to reflect that.

[WXWX]

We have simular scores and results. My score is 196.
general coping 100
life events 25
depression 94
anxiety 74
phobias 100
self esteem 100
eating disorders 80
schizophrenia 75
dissociation 100
mania 50
sexual issues 25
relationship issues 75
alchohol 0
drugs 8
physical issues 33
smoking 0
gambling 0
technology issues 81
obssesion/compultions 100
postramatic stress 100
borderline traits 92

I often have burning and tingling sensations when I'm having a flashbacks or a panic attacks too. And I often have hallutinations about shadows running along the walls trying to reach for me ,and hear I voices(they don't usually talk to me though, they usually just speak among themselves, but occasinaly they start screaming and that freaks me out alot.).And I've had experiences with memory loss as well.I often find drawings of mutilated figures in my room that I don't remember drawing(I usually draw manga)and I'm not violent so I don't know why I would draw them.Mabey we can chat sometime about our problems since they're simular.
Stay strong, many HUGS!!!
P.s The tadpole thing that you were talking about,it sounds like an"out of body experience" try talking to your Doc about it.

[Skully]

Originally Posted by SadlyEverAfter

Thank you Skully,
I see a CSW weekly because she is free for me, I have no more or insurance and she gives her notes to a psychiatrist who sees me once every two months for roughly 15 minutes to a half hour... he bases all his diagnoses off of her notes...
In my personal opinion this is not a very reliable way to do things... clearly the CSW is only informed and trained so much and I dislike the idea that it feels like my future is in the hands of an amateur.
~Sadly

I know how you feel mine does the same thing. Speak up and voice your opinion and tell your psychiatrist that you would perfer he pay attention to what you say, not what is written!

[Skully]

Originally Posted by WXWX

We have simular scores and results. My score is 196.
general coping 100
life events 25
depression 94
anxiety 74
phobias 100
self esteem 100
eating disorders 80
schizophrenia 75
dissociation 100
mania 50
sexual issues 25
relationship issues 75
alchohol 0
drugs 8
physical issues 33
smoking 0
gambling 0
technology issues 81
obssesion/compultions 100
postramatic stress 100
borderline traits 92

I often have burning and tingling sensations when I'm having a flashbacks or a panic attacks too. And I often have hallutinations about shadows running along the walls trying to reach for me ,and hear I voices(they don't usually talk to me though, they usually just speak among themselves, but occasinaly they start screaming and that freaks me out alot.).And I've had experiences with memory loss as well.I often find drawings of mutilated figures in my room that I don't remember drawing(I usually draw manga)and I'm not violent so I don't know why I would draw them.Mabey we can chat sometime about our problems since they're simular.
Stay strong, many HUGS!!!
P.s The tadpole thing that you were talking about,it sounds like an"out of body experience" try talking to your Doc about it.

Your score will come down with time. Just work on the areas identified. When I first took the test my score was 156 and that was back in february. Now my score is 21. Just learn from what was identified and go from there

[Gus1234U]

i didn't want to say anything really, but Skully helped me,,, i actually believe that Sanity Test is really a Skills Test... but before i got on oxygen i was 106 and after i had been on it a while, and was CPAP'd and sleeping right, my score came down to 45.... did i suddenly become sane ? i think not,, i suddenly was better able to function,,, oooh well,,, Gus