[Lefty_Mac]

i scored 171. just saw the most recent post one point below mine and ''(wow!)''.

''wow'' indeed. i wonder if i was really a bipolar or a schizoaffective disorder sufferer i'd answer those questions that way. so, right beside my mother, i took the test again - 171 sharp one more time. like i told my shrink yesterday, i'm being optimistic by telling that i need three years minimum of therapy.

yet with this mon th and a third of isolation in the dark with a computer and scratchy vinyl rips and one friend and a bunch of friendly acquaintances that must be wondering why have been fizzling out more and more away from them, no visits, no phone calls - i feel NORMAL. stable.

sure, i resort to methylphenidate and diazepam when things get rough but at least i'm now thinking it over and changing either the music/activity/whatever i'm doing. haven't seen my dog for three months, mjust hear him bark occasionaly upstairs. no biggie. he was a deception;nothing like those funny english bulldogs on youtube that brought me such joy. i guess he has to grow a bit more. but my mother's husband is his owner now, practically.. ..i don't want my dog to resemble to him but who am i to say he should be like me.

at a point, i thought my feelings towards him were perhaps misguided - the good ole benefit of the doubt. yet when i think about him that same nagging feeling comes back - hes an effin' gigolo. and the theree's that schizo sob of my father, which i tend to think more of as sheer psychopathy. in his actions.
i just don't know.

ig uess.

[glok]

Hello, Lefty_Mac. Your mood is "Relieved." I suppose that is a good sign.

I wish you well.

[Gus1234U]

i feel it's important to remember that the Sanity Quiz and all it's cousins are based on something called the Bell Curve; where most people are is the top of the bell, and that's about 60% of its area. then there is 20% of the area on either side. the farther from the middle one is, the more "deviant" from the "norm". that's all it is. it has nothing to do with being good or bad, or well or ill, or sane or insane. it means you are unusual to an extreme degree.

i like to say that i am the reason there is a lip on the Bell Curve. if it weren't for people like us, the world would be a dull place. if you are comfortable, and relatively happy with your life, and you're not hurting anyone to feel that way,,, then who is to judge you ?
best wishes~
Gus