[muse]

I'm posting the link to my results so you can see for yourself what I got. This doesn't bother me, just in case you were wondering--it's online, so I consider the info here pretty much public (my score was 103, FYI).

What bothers me most about the results is the depression thing. I took the depression quiz on PsychCentral and got the same results--but the strange thing is, I can be very very happy. I know I'm not supposed to take any of these quizzes as diagnoses, but something about that rings true, at least in part.

I dunno... I guess I'm just getting really really tired of feeling messed up, even to the little degree that I am. I know so many of you are dealing with issues that make mine look like diddly squat (hehe, I love that phrase) but I just... HATE this. I WANT help, but I don't know if it's what I need. >.< I actually managed to find the courage to send one of the therapists listed on the site an e-mail, which for me is kinda nuts. Now I just have to figure out when to tell my parents (again) that I'd like to talk to somebody.

I DO think the test is highly insightful, though. It's a nice bundling together of all the stuff you'd want to know, although the PTSD score is totally innacurate--that's not an issue of mine and never has been. I find it strange that I almost WANTED there to be more stuff on there, or a higher score on certain things, as if that would validate my seeking help.

here's to hoping,
~muse

[Psychotic_Phil]

I'm posting the link to my results so you can see for yourself what I got. This doesn't bother me, just in case you were wondering--it's online, so I consider the info here pretty much public (my score was 103, FYI).

What bothers me most about the results is the depression thing. I took the depression quiz on PsychCentral and got the same results--but the strange thing is, I can be very very happy. I know I'm not supposed to take any of these quizzes as diagnoses, but something about that rings true, at least in part.

I dunno... I guess I'm just getting really really tired of feeling messed up, even to the little degree that I am. I know so many of you are dealing with issues that make mine look like diddly squat (hehe, I love that phrase) but I just... HATE this. I WANT help, but I don't know if it's what I need. >.< I actually managed to find the courage to send one of the therapists listed on the site an e-mail, which for me is kinda nuts. Now I just have to figure out when to tell my parents (again) that I'd like to talk to somebody.

I DO think the test is highly insightful, though. It's a nice bundling together of all the stuff you'd want to know, although the PTSD score is totally innacurate--that's not an issue of mine and never has been. I find it strange that I almost WANTED there to be more stuff on there, or a higher score on certain things, as if that would validate my seeking help.

If you can be very very happy then that MAY possibly be a sign of Bipolar Disorder. It depends on what kind of happy you experience. I would check to see if you fit this description:

According to the DSM-IV-TR, a hypomanic episode includes, over the course of at least 5 days, three or four of the following symptoms, depending on whether the predominant mood state is elation or irritability: inflated self-esteem or grandiosity; decreased need for sleep; being more talkative than usual or feeling pressure to keep talking; flight of ideas or the subjective experience that thoughts are racing; distractibility; increase in goal-directed activity or psychomotor agitation; and excessive involvement in pleasurable activities that have a high potential for harmful consequences. In the hypomanic state, people may feel like they can't slow their mind down. Some examples would be speaking or writing in rhyme or alliteration, quick responses to people talking, the ability to improvise on the spot, hearing constant music in their head, or seeing images in their mind racing by.[2]

It may be that or just depression.

I dunno... I guess I'm just getting really really tired of feeling messed up, even to the little degree that I am. I know so many of you are dealing with issues that make mine look like diddly squat (hehe, I love that phrase) but I just... HATE this. I WANT help, but I don't know if it's what I need. >.< I actually managed to find the courage to send one of the therapists listed on the site an e-mail, which for me is kinda nuts. Now I just have to figure out when to tell my parents (again) that I'd like to talk to somebody

I know what you mean about issues feeling like "diddly squat" I have that same feeling. I had mood episodes yes, but never Manic or depressive episodes, which proabably means it's nothing. But I'm rambling again and I shouldn't do that.

P.S: The whole hypomania thing is not meant to sacre you in any way. I am simply trying to assist you. Like everything else in my life I am probably wrong, except about MY mental issues. But those are mine and not yours.

Best of luck.

[muse]

Thanks much for the reply, Phil. I was really hoping I'd get a response to this topic. I don't think I have bipolar disorder (the only symptom that matches up is constantly having music playing in my head, but that's all the time, not periodically), and I NEVER have elevated self-esteem. ^.^ I guess depression could be part of it, but the more I examine myself and my thought patterns the more I think anxiety has the biggest role to play... I think.

Beh, it just sucks that I can't pressure my parents for help. They both work so hard, and since we live in an area where every kid who's upset because their puppy ran away gets drugs and therapy, well... even I'M not sure. I don't want them to have to go even MORE out of their way to find a competent therapist/psychiatrist; we really have no idea where to start since the one person I ever saw barely has time to answer my mom's e-mails.

[Psychotic_Phil]

You say that depression certainly plays a part in what's going on with you. Depression could either be dysthymia, which is a milder but chronic depressed mood, or unipolar depression which is more severe but episodic depression. Anxiety is a broad category; anxiety can be of course, panic disorder, which involves recurrent panic attacks, or more OCD, which I have. OCD is more characterized by a series of intrusive, distressing thoughts (obsessions) which are generally about cleanliness, ie. germs, organizations etc. and ritualistic acts that are done to relieve the sufferer of distress. I haven't listed EVERY anxiety disorder however. Do you recognize your symptoms anywhere?

[muse]

I think I probably just suffer from generalized anxiety disorder and panic attacks, but I'm not sure whether chronic or episodic depression fits me best. I can't say that my depression is ever really extreme, but there are times when it has gotten noticably worse. I have family members who've suffered from OCD, depression, anxiety, and a few other disorders, so the potential is definitely there.

But that, ladies and gents, is where the "diddly squat" factor comes in. :/ And why I do want to get evaluated professionally. I can't really pin down exactly what's going on--nobody really can. I understand the why and how of it all, just not the labels or how to fix it. ^.^

[spiritual_emergency]

Whoops. Posted in the wrong spot. My apologies.