Anger Problem

I've been having some anger probelms lately. I know I'm stressed, but I don't know if that's the reason. I can be calm and happy and one tiny little thing and I would explode. I tried to control it, but it's hard, especially when it happened very quickly - in an instant. Even my friends have been commenting. In fact, they have been targets of my anger. They didn't do anything except showed concern for me, and I yelled at them.

I've tried exercising, listening to music, detach myself from my feelings (tried not to feel), even took extra meds, and I also drank - even at work.

I take celexa and seroquel. What meds are there that's for anger control? Is there something I can do to help -especially while I'm working?

Please help. I don't want to lose my friends, my job, and I don't want to keep drinking, even though it helps and is 'fast acting'.

SS -- keeping in mind that I BARELY know you, here's my opinion based on the face value of what you've written above. Please take it with a grain of salt, because I'm sure I'm making sweeping generalizations that may not apply to you, ok?
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I would see a specialist for it. It sounds like you do a lot of medicating as it is. Anger seems largely like a behavioral problem to me, and there are therapists that specialize in that particular problem.

Drinking at work also seems like a huge red flag to me. I think you would probably have some mood swings if you stopped drinking, but the fact that you feel you need to do this at work indicates that you don't have a whole lot of self-control as it is. I'm not surprised, consequently, that you're having trouble controlling your anger.

Are you in therapy now? Maybe your situation is beyond the experience level of your T. What do you think?

I do see a shrink - once a month.

You're right, in a way, I don't have much self-control. Then again, since the explosion happens suddenly, I have hard time bringing it back into control. I want to be in control, and sometimes, the more I try, the worse it gets.

I want something that helps immediately. I cant do yoga or meditation while at work. *sigh*

Could you go to the shrink more often? It would be hard to make much progress only going once a month.

You could meditate at work, couldn't you? Yoga, maybe not, I agree!

I found this for you:
http://www.coping.org/anger/content.htm

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((SS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Sounds like mood swings to me, I know them well. Going from anger one minute to being happy the next. I take a med called Topamax for my MS and it really works well. But there are lots of meds out there to help with mood swings. I'd be glad to help you research them if you like. I'm sure we can find some thing to help.

Sending you lots of love,
Greg

Thanks for the site. I didn't know it existed.

Would be difficult to see shrink more than once a month. Time off work.

(((((((((((Greggie))))))))))) Haven't thought of it as mood swings before. Thought it was my BPD that's going berserk. Maybe you're right. Heck, I dont know anymore. I need all the help I can get.

Thanks for the love. Love you back.

oh, sweetie, i know how it is! usually your best friends receive the brunt of it, and you just end up feeling worse -- guilty -- afterwards. i know you probably don't want to hear this at all, but ALCOHOL WILL MAKE THE ANGER WORSE. you may think of it as a sedative, but really it just makes it more difficult to maintain self-control (ie: to stop yourself from exploding).

you said that therapy more often than once a month won't work. i'd encourage you to do absolutely whatever you can do *make* that work. it would be better than losing your job or your friends, and you wouldn't have to go more often forever, just until the problem gets under control. maybe your therapist can meet you over lunch, before work in the mornings, later at night; or maybe just join a support group that meets at a good time for you, or just find a friend/co-worker that can empathize, that you can meet with for coffee/lunch or call when needed.

there may also be some other options:

* it seems you're not on any mood-stabilizers or anti-anxiety meds. do you have a good psychiatrist, or is it just a regular physician and your therapist? it might be worth seeing a psychiatrist a little more often, just temporarily, to find meds that are more effective. i've had success with lamictal as a mild mood-stabilizer. i also think there are drugs out there that might be more fast-acting for those sudden angry outbursts (like, something you could take as needed when you're feeling especially short-tempered).

* you say you "can't" do yoga/mediate at work, but you "can" drink at work? sounds like my kinda job! oops, just kidding. perhaps you mean it's easier to conceal alcohol, than to find private time to meditate or do yoga. it IS possible to practice yoga in the midst of other people, without rolling out your mat and changing into work-out clothes! no one need know that you're doing it. you can always practice yogic breathing, or just adjust your body posture to open up your airways or "circuits" a bit. it sort of helps you "remember" the calm you experience from a regular yoga session. if you can't consult with a yoga teacher, check out a good "teach yourself yoga" book from the library, or get one at a bookstore. i'll try to get back to you with some good ones, and page numbers, and stuff.

there are all sorts of other things that might help, but i'd try the extra therapy, med changes, and breathing first. and keep talking here -- if you're talking about it, you're at least trying to overcome it!

(((((((((((debi)))))))))))) wow - you've really put a lot of thought into this. Thank you.

I didn't know you can do yoga discreately. Thought you have to get into various 'positions'. I'll have to get a book on that.

My psychiatrist can't do sessions outside of work hours, nor email, nor phone. Even if I do it over lunch, it still means time off because I cant do the session and travel back and forth within an hour.

About the drinking in the office, it's like drinking pop or coffee. I can still work and answer phones, etc. But if yoga requires me to be 'still'.

Not sure if my shrink wants to go for med change - we'll see next time I see him.

You've been very helpful and encouraging. Thank you. Hugs.

Took a look at the link - lots of info. Thanks! ((((LMo)))))))))))

Saw my shrink today. He told me to read a book 'The Angry Heart' and added another med. risperdal, on top of my celexa and seroquel. Hope it works. He told me that with this new med, I have to stop drinking. Don't really know why this med is so special that I shouldn't have alcohol, but I'm willing to try and give it a shot.

SS,

I'm really rootin' for ya. I hope you consider reading the suggested book from your shrink. Sounds like he is trying to work with you on this and understand.

In my experience shrinks don't tell you to stop drinking on meds for no reason.........so please take that into account and give the meds a try w/o the alcohol if you are able to.

with hope for you,

(((((((((zh))))))))))) thanks for the vote of confidence.

Any changes for the better SS?

still here rootin' even if I'm more quiet about it!

I haven't been reading your other threads about the medications so I'm hopeful that part of things is leveling out gradually.

good luck with this. I believe that you can do this w/o the alcohol and hope you find the support to do so.

I still get stressed out and panicky, but I'm not yelling as much. Don't have the energy. I do find that my asthma is acting up more often, though. Thank you for caring. Huggles.