What is it like to take Anti-depressants?

My T brought up the subject of depression and anti-depressants a few sessions ago. She "invited" me to talk further about it. I choked on the words in the last session. She is now on vacation. I get to talk to her again in two weeks. I am planning on trying to bring the subject up. But, I had wanted to bring up the subject last time and I choked on the words.
What is it like to talk to a Pdoc? What is it like to take anti-depressants? Can they really help with a sleep problem from hell? Crying at work?
I will go back to school in August and I don't want a semester like last semester. I had trouble with planning ahead. I seemed to overwhelm myself if I tried to think a week ahead about homework. At the end of the semester, I had trouble studying due to an odd I-don't-care attitude. I would sit down and start to do my flash cards. Then, I would just get this strong "Oh, why does it matter?" attitude and quit. I managed to get two A's last semester. But, I doubt that if I start the semester with this odd inability to plan ahead and/or I-don't-care attitude I can keep it up. I don't have much stress left in my life but the sleeping problem continues.
Now, I have a cold. I think I might try to see my doctor if I have it for a full week. But, I'm not sure she will be able to help me much. Besides, I really don't want her to see the things that I checked under "psychiatric symptoms" at my last physical. She didn't seem to notice them during that visit. But, if I mention the sleeping problem (7 months), she will think I am nuts. Maybe I am nuts.
I saw a book at the library that claimed that psychiatric drugs interfere with brain function! I know that there are many people who think taking drugs for emotional problems is wrong in some way. There is a preacher or two on the radio who dislikes the use of drugs in this way. It is almost like Christians shouldn't be depressed. I told my friend when he said that his pastor said that he could make it so that he would never be lonely again that this is wrong. I explained that even people in the Bible felt lonely. Do you think Job didn't feel lonely? Do anti-depressants change how your brain works permanently? Are they easy to get off of once the problem is over and the six months afterwards has passed? Do you get embarrased at the pharmacy when you pick up your prescription? Are your moods still real feeling? Do the drugs effect your brain's function in other ways? I mean the brain is what makes me what I am. Can I damage it by taking anti-depressants? I have always been very protective of my brain. Its such a smart brain that works in an odd way. If I do talk to a Pdoc, is he/she willing to put up with lots of questions? I have never had the guts to really question a doctor before. I don't want to just do what he/she says without having some of these questions answered. But, I have never had the guts to ask lots of questions of a doctor. I have trouble asking for favors from my counselor. I wish she would tape herself saying something that I really want to believe but just can't seem to quite believe. But, I don't even have the guts.
Does it decrease the level of negative thinking? I have always been a negative thinker. I don't even think I'd recognize my brain as mine if it didn't have a lot of negative thinking. That's like my signal that it is my brain. What would I think about if I didn't have the constant bickering between the positive thinking side and the negative thinking side? I mean I don't spend much time thinking or talking about hobbies. I mean I like to draw, write and take walks. But, what do you think about in relation to those hobbies?
Thanks for reading my big long ramble and questions. I just wish I knew what to do.

(((hopefull))) I read as much as I could (I'm depressed too ) I think it's good that you are continuing to try and get this topic discussed with your doctor. I think the pdoc will understand more than you expect. Why not write down your questions, as you think of them, and then read the list to the pdoc if you have to?

Your pdoc will probably ask questions to make sure you haven't had a reaction to any similar drug before... and then write a script for you for a medicine they are satisfied with... remember, you can also ask your pharmacist questions about the medicine too (I usually talk to my pharmacist... he is always less rushed than my MD.)

Sometimes there are some "getting used to " side effects... but if the medicine works for you, they seem neglible, imo. A medicine begins working as soon as you first take it..but depending upon how much you need it...will depend upon how long it takes for the medicine to build up to a "therapeutic" level..meaning when you will begin to feel better.

With "normal" depression, there's little difference between cognitive behavior therapy results and antidepressant results (I think that's right...hmmm) If you can combine the two... you will get better for sure

yes you are thinking quite negatively...that's the depression talking imo.

Yes, there are some "Christians" that consider any illness as not having faith in God. I think they need to read the Bible in a better light, for surely there are those who were ill and strong believers (I'm thinking...PAUL???) God gave men the knowledge to work good medicine, and he gives us the ability to think to go to those men/women(called doctors.)

IMO antidepressants WORK when your own brain won't. Depression is caused by a reduction of serotonin (basically.) An antidepressant aids the brain in getting more serotonin into your system so you won't feel depressed. The newer meds are even better at doing that, and interfere with other functionings less.

That you don't spend much time thinking of good things is another indicator of depression. Please do try some of the new meds, I think you'll be glad you did.

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Hopefull,
I apologize for not reading your whole thread, but Bottom line, if an AD has been suggested, go with it, if that one doesn't agree with you, be open for another try at them.
No point of being depressed and/or miserable if you need not be. Relgion or no religion, the supreme being would not want us to be depressed/miserable or hopeless, when his or her creations have researched and made things that can be of help to us to appreciate all the good and even, beautiful things that surround us. Depression has an evil way of keeping us from all the wonder and beauty that is all around us, that so sadly may pass us due to that monster, "depression".
No sin and no sign of weakness to give modern medicine a try.
This is just my personal opinion, based on my own life experience.

Dear Hopefull ~ I registered just to reply to your post. I like to say that Paxil saved my life : not in a literal way, but the beauty & quality of my life. I can answer some of your questions -- because of stigma, it took me years to agree to take any AD. Sometimes, I wish I could have those years back.

I don't feel embarrassed @ the pharmacy -- maybe at first, but they see lots of prescriptions for lots of interesting conditions! So many people nowadays take some sort of psychmed, that I'm sure it never fazes them at all.

Relating to a psychmd is like relating to any other doc. Sometimes they're terrific; sometimes they couldn't care less about you. Ask your T for a referral : she knows you best & can prob refer you to a psychmd that will be a good match. My psychmd is great. I can ask all the questions I want & bcz he's in the same practice as my T, they communicate with each other as to where I am & what I need.

Permanency to the brain? I've never heard that. Usually, when you come off ADs, you return to where you were. It's not something I've thought much about.

Feelings? I still feel emotions, just like I always did. They're neither blunted or keener. The emotions that P takes away are the unwanted ones *depressive* ones.

Messing w/your brain? Meds help me to think clearly & more quickly. I find my thoughts & words more quickly, and stammer less. Negative thoughts are rare & mostly non-existent, unless I'm going thru' a cycle. Before I went on meds, most of my time was spent in dreadful worry & angst; their absence is liberating.

Better sleep? My SSRIs have never helped me to sleep better. I have always taken a supplement. Right now, it happens to be an AD that's being used off-label for my insomnia & works beautifully. Sleep is so tricky : different people will react to so many different things. Insomnia is also very common; I'm not sure why your doc would think you're nuts for having it. (BTW, perhaps what you need is a new doc ... one that you can relate to & cares as deeply about your psychiatric health as the rest of your physical health. A good, coordinating primary is so important.)

Going off? You should always work closely w/your practitioners. Since I'm on P, if I ever want to come off, it has to be very slowly, since it can cause some very unpleasant side effects. I'm a strong believer that one shouldn't just stop taking any med, but instead to work w/their docs. A friend of mine was on Wellbutrin & decided to take herself off ... she ended up having a seizure. It was a really unwise thing to do.

Keep in mind that the 1st med may not be the best one; you may have to try several to find the magic pill.

And as far as stigma is concerned, D is a metabolic, medical disorder. If you had another health issue, would you be wary of taking meds? Not taking meds (IMO) bcz to do so would be a sign of weakness is just dumb. I know for sure that if I had a heart problem & I needed meds to keep the ticker tickin', I sure wouldn't try to tough it out.

As I said, Paxil saved my life. I will always have D. My medications make my life so much more pleasurable & beautiful. Does that mean I never have symptoms? If only, I wish. I do have breakthrough symptoms & cycles (I just came out of one that was brought on by a change in my sleep meds), but they're not nearly severe or last as long.

I wish you luck. Post again if I can give you any more advice.

(((bandia))) welcome and thanks for that post!

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