[noneedtoknow]

Greetings
I have been having a few fears around medications.
1) What are they doing to my brain? My one -Lithium-the Dr. said actually heals some of the brain.But I am going off of it. I am starting a new one and am on two antipsychotics. I am afraid-what will happen to my head in 20 years? Yes, I know that is "future tripping" but I don't want mush in my cranium.
2) It seems like now when I go off my meds, within a few days I am not doing well, I don't have "space" like I use to. Could that actually be from the medications that I was taking affecting my brain? My Dr. said it was because the more mood episodes you have, the more you will have (mood swings begets moodswings or the kindling theory), I never asked him about if it had anything to do with the medications though and I am worried.
And I am just worried because I can't seem to stay on my meds for long periods of time-but like I said, when I get off, I don't do well in a short time and I don't know if it's really the meds, or it's psychological (I expect to do bad so therefore I do bad) or it's really the bipolar. This is so stupid. I am just having a hard time period. In an unrelated note, my brother, who definetly has a MI had his diagn0sis just changed from Bipolar to Schizophrenia-he is NOT schizophrenic-I can definetly say bipolar-he has the mood episodes and when he does he gets psychotic with it but in between he is normal. It pisses me off that he has this diagnosis that does not fit him. But he just goes, well, that's what they say I am and just goes with it. He is not medicated well, so flat-he definetly is not his normal self-the family recognizes it, but he doesn't. I hate this whole MI thing-it sucks and it makes me angry my brother isn't being properly treated and diagnosed. No I am not a doctor, but I am an RN in the ER who works in the Mental health part of our ER at times so I do have some experience/knowledge. Sorry about the rant here-guess I needed to write it out.The other thing I'll say is I know there is predjudice against MI at times and it makes me so sad to think of my brother with this "label" and that some people will be afraid of him just because of it. He's a good guy and it's just wrong. THis whoe thing is just wrong. I wish there was a way to just go backl before all of this stuff happened. Spmetomes I feell like I have been "Caught in the mental health web" and if I never ended up in the hospital I would never be on medications and have this stupid diagnosis. I don't mean to sound paranoid, but I really wonder sometimes if I had not, and treated things differently, I would be so much better now and not in the realm of psychology. (The web or trap, if you will).
If you've gotten to the end of this-sorry about the rant and bless you for reading the whole thing. I just hate all of this stuff right now and I guess I just wanted to put it out there.

[~JD~]

If you could organize your post and questions into a format that's more readable, then some of us may be able to help.

[noneedtoknow]

Thanks for replying JD-Didn't realize my post was such a mess.
My concerns are-
1. Long-term effects of meds-specifically Seroquel and Geodan.
2. when I go off meds, it is not long until I get into trouble emotionally again. Could that actually be from the medications and what they do to my brain rather than the bipolar? I use to have more "space" before episodes.
3. I guess the rest of my post is just rant/concern. SOrry about that.

[~JD~]

Originally Posted by noneedtoknow

Thanks for replying JD-Didn't realize my post was such a mess.
My concerns are-
1. Long-term effects of meds-specifically Seroquel and Geodan.
2. when I go off meds, it is not long until I get into trouble emotionally again. Could that actually be from the medications and what they do to my brain rather than the bipolar? I use to have more "space" before episodes.
3. I guess the rest of my post is just rant/concern. SOrry about that.

1) All antipsychotics carry the risk of causing Tardive Dyskinesia, espcially when taken for long periods of time. They are also a known cause of diabetes.

2) When stopping taking a med, not only do your previous symptoms come back, but you're also dealing with any possible withdrawal symptoms from that medication.

3) It's fine we all need a good rant once in a while

[noneedtoknow]

Thanks for replying to my post JD-hope all is well in your world!