[InfiniteSadness]

I cant be around people without taking a clonazepam tablet or even drive without. I get so agitated anxious, and panicky. What has my life come to? Even in my house i get anxiety and i have to take it.. almost daily.

[clarkdaniel1985]

Originally Posted by InfiniteSadness

I cant be around people without taking a clonazepam tablet or even drive without. I get so agitated anxious, and panicky. What has my life come to? Even in my house i get anxiety and i have to take it.. almost daily.

I've been there. I was once housebound for four years, only leaving to go down the street to grab a drink at the gas station or, at most, travel one mile from home when I absolutely needed an item and couldn't get anyone else to go for me. I relied on my family catering to my every need.

Eventually I started practicing going out and increasing the distance week by week until I could finally go within four miles of my house. It was hard work, but with patience and practice (and being willing to put yourself in an uncomfortable situation), you can do it.

But I have recently backslided and, unfortunately, I don't have the time to go with that slow process I used before. I have obligations now and I can't sit on my butt only going out to practice every day and waiting to get better. I have things to take care of. So now I was just put on Paxil and it is helping.

Benzos help, but they aren't good for long-term treatment in my opinion. You will develop a tolerance to them if you use them every day and then need to be weaned off slowly to avoid withdrawals once you stop. And if you take them as-needed every time you leave the house, you're only reinforcing the idea in your head that you absolutely need something to go out, which isn't healthy and only prolongs your problem.

Benzos are usually only prescribed for a short amount of time while a person adjusts to another long-term medication like Paxil or another SSRI. They are meant to provide quick relief to those really suffering until their SSRI or other medication kicks in, since it can take weeks and often people who are suffering now can't wait that long.

You can take them as-needed, as I said, but in my experience you're only harming yourself by using them this way because you're just telling yourself you need them to do anything.

If you have time to tackle your agoraphobia and no pressing obligations, then there are many self-help books out there to work through it slowly without medication. It's called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, but it takes time. You can do it if you work at it. If you don't have the time, like me, and need relief now, then getting on an SSRI and a temporary benzo dosage while you adjust should provide quicker results, even if I prefer the more natural way. Sometimes we just can't wait to get better without medication.

But just know that you're not alone and I've been there. I once had a problem leaving my bedroom to go shower. I would panic in the shower until I could make it back to my bedroom. I was that bad.

You can and will get better if you try. Look for good self-help books and practice, practice, practice, or see a doctor and get on something, but don't procrastinate. You're in a war with your body, so start fighting back. Don't waste four years of your life like I did. You'll never get them back.

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. It can and very likely will get better though

[Umbral_Seraph]

Have you tried a beta-blocker? They work very well and can be taken indefinently (unlike benzos).

[layla11]

Hi, I have to take my meds everyday, and take lorazapan. Was was on 3 a day. I noticed I felt better after my doctor added a mood stabilizer and another antidepressant. (now on one a day) I know not to stop taking it because Ive tried before and like you cant drive or anything. Well I dont see a problem with it. Just that maybe you may need some help or advise from your doctor about your concerns. Hope it helps to know that your not alone.

[cocoabeans]

You can go out. You will survive a panic attack. It just doesn't feel good. Feeling like hell at times is human. Go outside. No benzo. I dare you.

[joanna2007]

Do you take anything else? Maybe SSRI would lessen your daily anxiety therefore reducing the need for benzos.

[InfiniteSadness]

My anxiety is unbearable without a benzo. The ssri's only help so much with severe constant anxiety... never been on a beta-blocker though

[sugahorse1]

I'm so sorry to hear how you are battling. I have those days too, but try keep benzos to a minimum

[Trippin2.0]

1st, change your mindset:I cant fly-appropriate. I cant without benzos- self-defeatest: bad for self-esteem.Panic attacks have landed me on an oxygen tank for hours,but they didnt, & cant kill me or you.There are techniques my pdoc taught me to keep them at bay or minimize them.A brown paper bag is handy for beginners. 2ndly: did you know that some people get more panic attacks after starting a benzo? My sister was living off those things until she told her pdoc.Have faith in yourself, I have faith in you!!

[InfiniteSadness]

BUT i KNOW, IVE tried going into STORE or being around lotta of people without taking anti-anxiety pill, and i start PANICKING. NO gimmick, 1ST hand EXPERIENCE. Its so Unfair but thankfully something does work right???

[Trippin2.0]

You're missing the point. The panic CANT kill you. Learn to cope with it, work thru it, instead of popping a pill EVERYTIME you leave the house... Idk, maybe my post was unclear and convoluted

[layla11]

Infinitsadness, Yes good that it does work. I take them also, and would rather do this then risk getting into a car accident. I can relate and it okay.
ps, talk to your doctor about this.

[venusss]

Originally Posted by InfiniteSadness

BUT i KNOW, IVE tried going into STORE or being around lotta of people without taking anti-anxiety pill, and i start PANICKING. NO gimmick, 1ST hand EXPERIENCE. Its so Unfair but thankfully something does work right???

"works?"

so far it worked to create an addiction, whenever physical or "merely" psychological.

It "worked" into making you not trust yourself. 99% people can learn to work through panic.

Are you in therapy to work on skills for coping with the anxiety? Benzos only mask the anxiety; you need to learn to cope with it. Like others said, anxiety/panic will not kill you; you can learn methods to cope so you don't have to rely on a medication that can definitely become addictive over time.

[LiveThroughThis]

I'm going to be blunt, take it or leave it.

Infinite Sadness, I understand exactly what you're going through. It is quite easy for other people not in our positions to tell us what we "need" to do to cope with life. Newsflash: What works for some does not for others.

I was on a major Benzo for a long time---it kept me from climbing the walls from the moment I woke up until the moment I fell asleep (also on meds for OCD and Bipolar II, all under the same anxiety tree & feed off one another). I was weaned off of it slowly because after awhile my P-doc determined I didn't need it like I did before. I still have a Rx for half of the smallest dose that exists for my major Panic Attacks (by major I mean the ones that leave me hyperventilating and full-body spasms resembling seizures that leave me exhausted, muscles tensed/sore and literally unable to do anything but sleep....I don't care what anyone says, it's not healthy to have attacks that severe, especially without something to calm them down). I used to have the major ones a lot, in those cases they were situationally based (heavy stressors at the time). I still have Panic Attacks, but they've diminished significantly, a lot of times I can go through one without a med. I do take a daily anxiety med because I have an anxiety disorder (which is similar but not the same as Panic Attacks).

All that said, I was once afraid to leave the threshold of my front door. Now I can go places, even loud places, and be more comfortable. I haven't driven much in over a year. As layla11 said, I know the likelihood of me getting behind the wheel and regularly driving at this point could very easily result in a car accident (for me it's the hypersensitivity to traffic/cars/loud diesel engines/etc.). As my P-doc has said, you can't push an illness. Since my diagnosis a few years ago I have made HUGE strides.

But there is no easy solution. And frankly telling someone to just "deal" with their anxiety and Panic Attacks is arrogant and condescending. Yes, ppl can become physically dependent on Benzos, but much of that equation involves the P-doc and how well they do their jobs. Something else no one here has mentioned is individual therapy. I have been seeing my Therapist for 6 months, I cannot emphasize enough how integral she has been to my progress. She has even given me tips on how to calm myself when I get anxious; obviously it's not a substitute for the med I'm on, but it certainly helps. Just knowing I can go in her office and be however I am at the moment and not be judged is healing in itself.

Infinite, what I hope you've gotten from my post is that you have to do what you have to do for you; if I'd done what ppl advised in the past I may have ended up in an institution having lost my mind believing everyone else was right about my body and mind. For some people Exposure Therapy (where as someone mentioned you make yourself face your fears, etc.) that works; I do that on a small basis going places here and there, being in a car, etc. But for others like me, the anxiety is ongoing, complex, and all the exposure in the world doesn't fix it. Any decent psychiatrist knows that being on Benzos for a long long period of time is not helpful or necessary. But if it's what you need right now to help you cope, do it!

I hope you get the help and support you need. I have been where you are, I've been made to feel like a child simply because I questioned others' view of my wellbeing---the ppl that are patient and willing to let us be us are few and far between. But they are out there. Feel free to message me. Good luck.

Originally Posted by LiveThroughThis

Something else no one here has mentioned is individual therapy. I have been seeing my Therapist for 6 months, I cannot emphasize enough how integral she has been to my progress. She has even given me tips on how to calm myself when I get anxious; obviously it's not a substitute for the med I'm on, but it certainly helps. Just knowing I can go in her office and be however I am at the moment and not be judged is healing in itself.

That's the first thing I mentioned in my post. Therapy to learn some coping mechanism is an absolute must.

I recently returned to work after taking a leave of absence. I found that if I didn't have my Ativan I wasn't going to make it. The last thing that I need is to have a panic attack at work. I don't think that that anyone would understand. I try not to over Medicare, but when I get home I have a tendency to take more just to get through the day. I've started cutting to take the edge off...not that's any better. I'd sooner hurt myself then hurt anyone else

[LiveThroughThis]

Originally Posted by farmergirl

That's the first thing I mentioned in my post. Therapy to learn some coping mechanism is an absolute must.

Sorry about that, I confused your post with someone's who mentioned Cognitive Behavioral Therapy/reading self help books, etc.

My point was that while one-on-one therapy is pretty much essential, it seems (my P-doc stayed on my butt to get a T), sometimes it's not enough on its own for a certain time in one's life. I read recently on Web MD that Panic Disorder (which is different from Generalized Anxiety Disorder, though one can have both) can last one's lifetime. As explained to me, regarding meds, in ways they're no different than taking Excedrin Migraine for migraines----would we expect someone with such an awful malady to just push through it? Of course not, even though often they're caused by stress/etc. I see taking meds--whatever kind--to be no different. Maybe one day my brain chemicals will balance themselves out & I won't need any meds---friend had migraines her entire life, then upon entering menopause, they stopped---but until then, I do the best I can with the arsenal of tools I've got.

[InfiniteSadness]

See, I don't believe "benzo's only mask the problem".. cause for me they treat it in a way. They also help my anger..

[LiveThroughThis]

Originally Posted by InfiniteSadness

See, I don't believe "benzo's only mask the problem".. cause for me they treat it in a way. They also help my anger..

I agree in a lot of ways. Years ago, a bestselling book called "Talking Back to Prozac" discussed how awful Prozac was---causing children/adults to commit suicide/homicide/etc., and essentially should not be used period. I read the book myself to see what was behind they hype and popularity. The fact it was written by a doctor, of course, made people think, "Well he must know what he's talking about!" Admittedly he presented some valid points about the drug (I was on it myself in my teens, only results were total numbing of emotions and weight gain), but overall what I took from the book was it should not be prescribed, the FDA was bought off, etc, etc.

But what he didn't point out is that while for some people Prozac had adverse and devastating consequences, not only is that not true for everyone, there were additional factors for some people (I do not understand putting a preteen/younger on a drug like Prozac with abandon, as many were)....many of them were children, had ADD--who in their right mind prescribes that for an ADD kid--and so on.

I'm not saying these drugs have no side effects/consequences/can't be potentially dangerous. But all of the circumstances need to be in play when determining such an observation. I read on here and many other places how well Prozac works for people. Benzos can be the same way.

[Anika.]

I don't believe that the people stating that the OP needs to try and take less benzos or try to get off them and learn other coping skills don't care, or don't understand either.

Quite the opposite actually. I think they are concerned, as was I saw the title of the thread, which does imply there is a problem, and that help is wanted.

A side effect of benzos actually is anxiety, panic attacks, depression, and a host of others. After the benzo starts to leave the body a lot of people notice an even more or present sense of anxiety. So it can really be a catch 22. The benzos can cause the exact symptoms you take them for. The more you take them, and the longer you take them, the more this circle will continue. And I think that is why people are concerned.

As others have said, therapy, even self help books, there are actual work books, and they can help a ton. This is how I combated my anxiety and panic attacks. I hope you give it a shot, I think you could be very happy with the outcome. For me it was well worth it. And I hope and wish the same for you.

LiveThroughThis,
I can understand your point of view, however..
As far as prozac goes, I did almost commit suicide on it, I also had the most traumatic psychosis I have ever had in my life. I still feel traumatized by that whole experience and I have been in a lot of bad places. It happens with Prozac quite often, and just because some are ok, does not mean it is a safe drug when it has caused so much destruction, pain and death for so many people. I think we need to weight the whole thing, and if a high enough amount of lives are being ended, that is quite a real problem. Who's life do we keep and who do we loose, how many is too many? That part I do not understand.

No matter how good a pdoc might seem, they have no way to tell for certain how you will react to these meds good or bad.

If it is a problem where therapy, self help, learning coping skills and strategies has been proven to work, then why take a med forever that can ruin your body and possibly life?

Neither Benzos nor antidepressants were created with long term use in mind. And I think that is something people do need to be aware of and keep in mind.

[InfiniteSadness]

Anika- but what about people on meds for life? You don't believe in true chemical imbalances?

[Trippin2.0]

Chemical imbalance is still a theory.IMO Dr's are trying hard to pin everything under that blanket cos they dont have answers.My bipolar's a chemical imbalance,my friend's schiz is a chemical imbalance, & now apparantly, my sister's anxiety is too... Its a blanket term for 'idk what is causing that' IMO.Nobody is saying anxiety isnt real, or easy to live with. We're just saying that drugs are not always the only treatment, things mentioned in this thread can be used in conjunction with meds...

[venusss]

Originally Posted by InfiniteSadness

Anika- but what about people on meds for life? You don't believe in true chemical imbalances?

http://chriskresser.com/the-chemical-imbalance-myth

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8138893.stm

http://www.academyanalyticarts.org/fores.htm

CHemical imbalance is a simplified popular view. It's not even a theory doctors accept for real these days.

(and, even so, it's about serotonin and dopamine and these. I doubt any doctor ever talked about valium imbalance).


what about some people on meds for life? Well, some are on them needlessly and don't have much life anyways.

Look, benzos are great on as needed basis... given that you carry them in your purse and rarely take them and just the thought of having your emergency tool helps. They are great for momentary stress... but leaving house shouldn't be THAT stressful. Maybe you should trust yourself more than you trust some damn pill. Exposure therapy is great and you can help you live normal life (and enjoy it).