[gillgirl]

Hello
I have been on meds for my newly diagnosed Bp for 6 weeks now. Few days ago I saw my Doc and he asked if I felt "better". This may seem odd but I can't tell. So he increased my dose and scheduled me with a therapist for my anxiety.

I really don't know what I'm supposed to feel. I'm always up and down, backwards, and all of it at once. Now I have meds introduced and I feel even more out of sorts and weird. As I try to figure out how I feel I find myself more and more confused. I'm still horribly anxious and suffering from panic attacks. I still have mood swings in an instant. They crying has gone down except after a panic attack or extreme anxiety. When I think about those hopeful/hopeless, etc feelings I can't say one way or the other. I feel bam in the middle. Like not happy and energetic but not depressed and worthless. Just kind of there.

The doc says I should be somewhere in the middle of my ups and my downs. But how do I know that what I'm feeling is stable? What is being stable? I know I should have emotions and feelings but how do I know if they are "normal" or not?

So, how did you all know you were stable with meds, or that you still aren't?

Stable with meds: Didn't feel much, not happier but hypomania was gone.
No meds: Feel more, think more clearly, hypomania and depression all over the place.
10 mg Zyprexa did the trick for me. I felt like a zombie.