[-jimi-]

I was going to reduce my Xanax.... in the summer while I'm in the countryside doing more physical work and having a lot of natural relaxation and no city stress.

Oh guess what?... My doc secretly lowered my dosage, I have a new doc for every prescription and for a good while they have just been the same, but the second last doc cut me down to an average of 3.6 pills a day (I can take max 4 per my prescription which is 1 mg in all). This doc cut me down to an average of 3.2 pills a day. Still with the print I can take 4 a day. I didn't notice the decrease until I started to run out.

I counted my tabs and couldn't believe it. If I'm to live until the next refill I have to take an average of 1.7 tabs for a month. I have maxed my dosage for a month before today because I have had a very stressful time with a lot of of things and just totally unable to unwind without the meds.

Now I feel more in control and no longer need 4 tabs a day, 3 would be OK. Less than two... hm. No. Too much going on still. It really makes me want to take my Xanax with a shot of vodka or grapefruit juice... Or even go illegal and get some Valium online (I'm not going to do this but I'll say it so you know where my mind is).

I do other things to fix myself, but it's just hard to do right now, if I go out to walk which helps (other seasons) I get too much sunlight which activates me in a bad way (and no, there are no dark nights this season here up north) and also there are way too many people out (because everyone comes out in the summer) and that stresses me.

I'm moving back into my windowless room for my computer time, and I'm moving my sleep spot to a darker one. Still I'm not sure that will do...

I don't like being tapered down without being told, we have not even discussed tapering, it's me who wants to do it because the Xanax messes with my short term memory. I don't have a doc to discuss it with as my prescriber is one I've never met and will be almost impossible to get in touch with. Also if I get in touch with the clinic itself, I'm afraid it will look like drug seeking behavior. Especially since I turned down a pee test lately.... Which is totally unrelated but I can't risk it and them cutting the med altogether.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/atten...e-ritalin.html

I wish there were E-Xanax someone could email!!! LOL!

[-jimi-]

Ugh, what did I just do?

Everything is computerized so when I did my sleep med refill online to the clinic I added in the text box "If you wish to reduce the dosage of this med as you have done with the Xanax, please let me know instead of doing it in secret."

I can't believe I hit send on that one. It will not go over well...

No wonder I have anxiety when I do such things!

[gayleggg]

That is really tough. I'm fortunate enough to actually see my prescribing doctor so we can discuss things like that.

You are in a tough spot. That will be quiet a cut for you. I would assume the hospital is an option if it gets too bad.
Best wishes to you.

[Altered Moment]

I don't think it was a bad note. They did what you said.

As far as running low that is not good. I hope you can get an adequate supply.

[-jimi-]

Thanx guys. No hospital available unfortunately. I hope they don't overreact to what I wrote. I'll start ration the pills after this week is done, because there are still some stressors. Three a day until Sunday.

Then it starts... Oh well.

[ashland]

I cant belive the dr wants to lower your lousy 4 mg Xanax, they think there god by being able to prescribe addictive drugs. ive been on klonopin for 20 yrs 3mg every day. its so stupid to do that to you my friend. I hate dr but they got the degree so they think there god. iam trying to get thorazine 50mg to make me feel better with the Risperdal iam on. she wont go for it cause it was my idea. good luck my friend.

[-jimi-]

Thanks. Actually it is 1 mg they are trying to reduce. Each of my pills are 0.25 mg so I take the weakest pills.

[-jimi-]

Me and math... sigh. After the weekend I will have 39 pills and 22 days to go. That is 1.7 pills a day which means I can take 2 for a while and then 1.5. But the number of day for which? I just look at the numbers and my mind goes blank. I feel oddly calm about this, I would normally feel EEP if I wasn't able to take 3 a day. But then I'm having a refill of my sleep meds which means I will have a little help with calmness at night. Even if the sleep med is also benzo based, it is not enough to deal with any possible withdrawals, it's just a very small dosage at 0.125 mg. I'm not too worried about withdrawals though, more getting severe anxiety and knowing I MUST keep the dosage down.

[elevatedsoul]

im trying to get away from benzos too, to me they just aren't reliable enough and i end up taking too much really

thats a tricky math equation i can't figure out at the moment either! (brain fog)

i think you can take 2pills for 19days, 1 pill 22days(of course) and that leaves 17
hopefully someone else that can think clear will be able to figure it out for you

[-jimi-]

My benzo been fine and quite reliable, I just don't want to put up with the memory issues. They are rather mild but I sort of live inside my head so it bothers me a lot.

[-jimi-]

Now I only have 18 Xanax left... The day I can get a refill is 23 June. That is 12 days. EEP! I don't like where this math is going...

[ashland]

I think Xanax and halcion are the two hardest ones to come off of. I came off 10mg a day Xanax , that wat the pdoc prescribed , and I thought I was going nuts. more then I already am.

[-jimi-]

I've had much less problems than I thought. The main thing is I don't have the mental safety of stopping an anxiety attack now just by knowing I have the med, because I don't have it. I'm trying to steer away from anxiety triggering thoughts best I can. I take 0.5 mg of Xanax now compared to 1 before and there are no withdrawals.

The Halcion has never been an issue for me, having it can mean sleep or no sleep though. I haven't had it for a month, but it doesn't bother me quitting it other than I don't have a way of falling asleep. I've never had any withdrawals from it.

I have the sleep med now and it does make me feel a little better because it also can stop an anxiety attack and I usually have them at night anyway.

So I will continue with what I'm doing and take 2 Xanax until they run out.

I'm still a little ticked off by the sudden cut because I was told nothing. At the same time I guess I really had to try to cut back and it wasn't horrid.

[ashland]

I came of 10mg bars of Xanax so yours should be a breeze y, yes it was prescribed that way for 5 yrs I was on the 2mg bars.

[-jimi-]

You can't really compare like that. I take the med for a reason. Also, people actually usually DO get withdrawals from low dose treatment.

[-jimi-]

The last couple of days have been a bit rough. I think I hit my limits as I only took half a Xanax for three days. One was some sort of balancing point where I almost started to be not OK. Cutting that, UGH.

Luckily I DID make it to my refill day!!! And without totally running out.

I guess I simply will not take max dosage as my bottle says, because then I will run out again, as this refill is identical to the last one. I should be OK with three a day.

But of course I probably worked up some sensitivity so I will start up low. Can't decide if I'll go with 1.5 or 2. But as 2 doesn't actually give me memory side effects, maybe that is the sweet spot. If I can live on 2 a day which sort of was my goal, I'll be proud of myself, I thought cutting beyond 3 would be very hard. So really, maybe I shouldn't cut to 1.5 without being stable, even if I want to, I tend to always push myself...