[Miche31]

I cross threaded this on another forum, so apologies if you see this twice.

I'm going to keep a log for now, so that I can check the progress. I don't think Cymbalta is going to work for me, but until I can see the psyches nurse on Tuesday this is all I have to help me.

I took Cymbalta 3 years ago, and did well on it for 2 solid years until last year it just stopped working. I started getting anxiety and depression again. I weaned myself off over 4-5 months. Since then I had lost a sister and another went through cancer; so I got into a psych and we started trying medication. I quit taking Prozac after 5 days because I hated the side effects. Same thing with Paxil. I have a hard time tolerating the start up effects. I have Xanax, but have been on it as needed for 5 years now, and since the death of my sister in January, I started taking them a few times a day and now I know my tolerance has built up so while trying to deal with a new start up of medication, I'm trying to be liberal with my Xanax as I don't want to go back to taking it all day.

Day 1-2 took 20mg. Was a nervous wreck, did not sleep well. Anxiety high.
Day 3 took 30mg. The next day I was hiding in my closet because my anxiety was so high. Had to take a Xanax to calm down
Day 4 took 20mg. Still not sleeping and waking up every 1-2 hours and up at 5, morning until noon is extremely weird. I stay in my bedroom reading online for positive affirmations. I'm out of it....tired, legs agitated probably due to anxiety. Afternoon was "decent"
Day 5 took 20mg. Exactly same as day 4. Call psych, get her nurse who does screening. She says to up it to 30mg because 20 isn't even a therapeutic dose. She doesn't "get" that I'm super sensitive to meds. Anyways.
Day 6 took 30mg. Exact same as day 4 & 5
Day 7 took 30mg. BAD anxiety yesterday morning. I had to take a little Xanax to calm down. It was so bad. I tried to call psyche nurse but they were gone all day. So I spent most of the day pacing, took a tiny bit of Xanax and worried all day whether this was the right drug. See, I cant get over that it stopped working last year, so WHY should it work again?
Day 8 took 30mg. Didn't sleep well, so at 5am I took a half a Xanax and slept for another hour and half. So here I am now at 11am, trying to get through the day and life. This is a struggle and very hard. My family is very worried about me, and frankly so am I. This morning I printed out some self helping pages and worksheets so going to do that. I'm also making myself leave my house a few times a day.

[CANDC]

Miche31, I am so sorry you are struggling with depression. People here at PC may also have a therapist to talk things out and a psychiatrist or psych doc to diagnose and prescribe meds to help balance things out. Reviewing meds with your psych doc is important if meds are not keeping you stable and living a fairly level life.

Besides being an active participant in helping oneself at Psych Cental, many people also help support each other by replying to other people's posts. Many people who are actively involved in Psych Central find it helps take them out of their own problems to develop empathy for others. And their problems are more manageable the more they help others.

Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.