[-jimi-]

The last doctor I had that I'm trying to get away from, has opinions I cannot stand. I try to be a good patient but it is hard. My old doctor quit and quickly arranged this appointment with him because she felt she didn't want to leave me mid the tedious project finding a sleep med that works for me.

So I go to him and about the first thing he says is that he does not prescribe sleep meds. He suggests I take 40 mg of Ritalin as a sleep med. I of course protest, it will not help me sleep. I can take 5 mg, tops 10 mg in one full day, after that I start feeling overdosed, tachycardia, shaking etc. He says that is ridiculous and that cannot happen at that dosage and if I don't want his help, fine. So I accept that the quest for a sleep med is over.

The he tells me by the way you cannot take Xanax, which I have done for 15 years and am dependent on, also it is crucial to treat my panic attacks that I had since I was 6 years old. He then claims anxiety is bull and not real. He tells me I should cold turkey the Xanax that is has NO DANGER notsoever doing so, but because he is so nice (hell yea!) I can receive a prescription of 30 0.25 mg pills to taper out with. He says a painless taper takes 2 weeks, not a day more.

Then my GP is starting to mess with me. I have never taken meds for my Lupus and no one has ever tried to force meds on me but he does. He of course says I must take Prednisone. I say I cannot, because it would cause me severe panic and severe insomnia. He says Prednisone cannot have those side effects, not even if you're mentally ill to begin with.

So to be a good patient I should cold turkey Xanax, start Prednisone at the same time and use relaxation techniques (that I must invent myself) to sleep.

Last time I was cold turkeyed I nearly had a stroke because my blood pressure shot up. Now I am supposed to add massive amounts of Ritalin, that will cause me even higher blood pressure and if I do all this I will be healthy (they promise).

If I don't, I am dumped. I have basically already tried to get another psychiatrist but it is really really hard. As for the GP I will simply do without.

Am I insane for feeling they are doing all the wrong things with me? Everyone is telling me they are experts and I should just obey or deal with the fact no doc will ever want to treat me.

[Trippin2.0]

Your doctors are insane and playing god with your life.

I would not listen to either of them.

[reb569]

Definitely time for a second opinion. People can and do react differently to meds and to totally discount your experiences is wrong. I hope you can find a new pdoc quickly.

[-jimi-]

I'm trying everything to find a new doctor. I'm currently trying to reach one only 3 hours away. I'm scared no one will have a the time for me and my pills run out. I don't want to CT Xanax and also beside this I have more stressors than normal in my life.

[still_crazy]

i am --so-- sorry. ive had similar problems with doctors using controlled substances to control and punish me, and also using antipsychotics as tools of control, also.

can you get high dose supplements where you live? high doses of taurine (preferably on an empty stomach) and high dose B3 (I find niacinamide a lot easier to tolerate than niacin) can help ease benzodiazepine withdrawal problems by acting on GABA receptors.

Other than that...this guy sounds straight up sadistic and abusive, which seems to be all too common in the realm of mental health, for some reason. I really --am-- sorry about your situation.

[Guiness187055]

It sounds like your GP and Pdoc smoke crack together!!!!!

[-jimi-]

Buying supplements is doable. We now have a lot of doctors who put a lot of pride in taking away benzos. They act like they save our lives. They act like they single handed created world peace. My country has been restrictive with benzo use in the past, it's been 30 years since they overprescribed. But they act like it is a problem. I will gladly go off benzos the day there is an actual replacement drug. But all they can offer is stuff that makes my anxiety worse. I have this odd feeling that they TRY to kill me. And I'm not really particularly paranoid.

[*Laurie*]

Taking away the Xanax like that is completely wrong.

That pdoc sounds like a fool and a masochist. I feel so bad for you, and hope you are able to find a different pdoc.

[-jimi-]

I sometimes get the feeling I am in the Twilight Zone. When I think people can't act weirder, they do.

Like, after that doctor heard that meds with a lot of antihistamine effect makes me pass out (once I hit my head to the point of a concussion that made me pass out again), or simply drop without passing out but still hurting myself, he said now it is obvious that is the right med for you to sleep on! And he meant it!

Yup Big Sleep here we come...

I went as far as putting an "agent" on my case to try to find me a doctor because alone it seems impossible. She is overbooked with similar cases though (how weird...) but she will start on my case Monday, tomorrow. I hope she can do better than me in this mess. Still hoping for that clinic 3 hours away, she can also help with the red tape. They told me different things I must do to apply, all different! So I am glad I have that help because this is seriously driving me mad.

All well wishes are so so so appreciated! They counteract the feeling I have inside that I just want to curl up into a ball in a corner and just freeze up, at my wits end...